In a pickle

The boys’ dad and step-mom are busy. Step-mom is a has been, umm, I mean used to be a model (cat claws bared). She is constantly trying to talk Nick into competing in a model search. Nick is just not interested. I am not really pleased with the thought of him spending all of his free time (and mine) going on auditions and worrying about what he is eating. This is not the lifestyle we are interested in living.
The ex and family are coming to Hollywood in August for a big Dance/Model competition. They have been “encouraging” Nick to say yes to competing in this event. They have sugar coated the whole situation with “you can make enough money to pay for college” or “you could be famous” even “this is a once in a lifetime chance”. Now what kid doesn’t dream of these things, gosh, I still do!
Last Sunday night, about 8:30 p.m., step-mom calls. She knows I put the boys to bed between 8:30 and 9:00 (Nick would die if anyone found out). She tells Nick, who is sitting there with a horrified look on his face, that he has until noon on Monday (the next day) to make a decision. He would be in school on Monday so that actually left him 30 minutes to make that decision. He tells her, in a not so convincing voice, “Ummm, I don’t think I really want to do it”. He continues to make some panic faces and says a few more, “no thanks” and I don’t think so”. I can tell he is stressed so I ask to speak with her. She rambled on and on about Bob Eubanks (I thought he was dead) and the different modeling agencies, including the one she used to model for, and the fact that Nickelodeon and Disney and blah, blah, blah… I only got one-word responses in until I finally just butted in. I told her that the decision was Nick’s and that I thought he had tried to tell her he wasn’t interested. He totally flipped out and started waving his hands and shaking his head. He actually started to cry and mouthed to me that they would be mad. He wants more than anything to please his dad; well, he really just doesn’t want to make him mad. He is a very unforgiving man. I feel bad that he feels this way. He has never been able to speak his mind to his father, out of fear. I had to take back what I had just said to step-mom. I told her the decision was up to Nick, and that I would stand by him, support him, and drive him to hell and back, if he was serious.
Nick and I did our verbal rendition of a Pros and Cons list. His biggest pro and con were the same issue- making his dad happy, or not making him mad. I told him to NOT think about his dad or step-mom or me or anyone else but himself. I said he needed to answer a couple of questions for himself:

Is this something I think I will enjoy doing?
Am I prepared to make the sacrifices needed to accomplish this?
Will this get me to a place I want to be in my future?

He decided to say “yes”. He sent his step-mom an email saying so. The next morning when I got out of the shower Nick was sitting on the couch crying. I already knew what was wrong. He told me that he had felt pressured and that he had made the wrong decision. I told him that he needed to call and tell them that he had changed his mind. He was an absolute wreck but he made the call and left a message. His father has not spoken to him since.
Last night, (a week later) we get an email from step-mom saying that she is excited and has made arrangements to have Nick’s portfolio shot while he is visiting for spring break. She is also going to teach him how to walk and how to stand. She is not going to take “no” for an answer. We sent her an email back saying that there must be a misunderstanding, he is not interested.
I don’t really know what part to play in this whole situation. I do not have a good relationship with their father; in fact he wishes me dead every chance he gets. I want to protect him, of course, but I want him to learn to stand up for himself, to say NO if he means it. I also want him to know if he commits to something he has to follow through. He doesn’t want to go to his fathers now. He will be 1000 miles away and I won’t be much help. I explained that love isn’t a reward for pleasing behavior, it is unconditional. I guess it is hard to understand that, when all you feel you get from a parent is disapproval and love based on circumstances. I’m sure they know my love is unconditional- I can tell it in the way they try and walk all over me.