Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Boo Hoo Wednesday

It’s not anywhere near “that time of the month” and I have been tearing up over everything.

It started with a phone call from my husband this morning. He told me that he has officially been made a CORE member of the InterWest team. This means after his 3-month grace period he is eligible for benefits, meaning dental and prescription discounts (medical is provided in Canada). This means he is not thinking about coming home anytime soon, if ever! I didn’t even ask, just said congrats! How long am I supposed to wait around for him to get his shit together?

I miss my boys! I don’t really know what to do when they are gone. I can think of places I would like to go but work gets in the way, damn work.

To top it all off, I spilled coffee on my favorite pheasant shirt on the way to work. As I was trying to wash it off, one of the guys from the factory said, “Why do you wear that shirt? It makes you look pregnant.” I looked at him and said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all!” Great comeback, huh? Then holding back the tears I said, “If I were pregnant that would make me the Virgin Mary, only I’m not a virgin and my name isn’t Mary!!” Geez, I was on a roll! What a dork! I stomped to the bathroom and cried.

I feel better now and I know I have to address the issues with my husband. “Shit, or get off the pot” applies to both of us.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Easter with me

Another holiday spent alone.
I am getting use to it.
It was easier before, because I had my husband to spend time with. Now it is just me! I had a busy day, which was good. I went to a church service in the park by my house. It was a great service. I think every service should be outdoors. They had a full praise band playing and the little kids danced in the grass in their Easter outfits. The sun was shining and the palm trees swayed gently in the light breeze. It was wonderful.
After church, I went to a friend’s house for an Easter brunch. We had Mimosas, muffins, boiled eggs, fruit and candy. We colored eggs. The older kids poo-pooed the idea, so we moms did the coloring. We made some beauties and had a blast. They have an 18-month-old daughter and we watched her find eggs and toss them around until they broke open. Of course, she is too young for candy, so the adults all fought over it. We sat on their deck and got our fill of “baby love” (another friend has a 6 wk old baby boy).
Next I headed to a neighbors house for an Easter harbor cruise. We took the dingy out and had some cocktails on the water; we even did a good deed. We towed a stranded boat to its dock. We got home just as the sun was starting to set.
I made my way home after a quick walk on the beach to watch the sun set. It was so incredibly romantic, I even tried to hold my neighbors hand (she wasn’t very thrilled). I put my warm comfy pj’s on and snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie.
It was an enjoyable day. I am also learning to enjoy my own company. I am so darn witty at times, although I must look like a lunatic talking to myself and laughing at my own jokes.

Monday, March 28, 2005


I have been waiting and waiting for this to go on sale! Posted by Hello

Friday, March 25, 2005

Clueless

There is this older man that works in our office. He is a nice guy but he has developed this little problem. He has a gas leak of some sort. Maybe it’s just a loose rectum, I don’t know. Anyway, he farts a lot. This has just started recently and must be diet related.
Last week, as he was leaving our office, he called out to another employee. As he did he let loose several farts that exploded like machine gun fire. My office mate and I sat in silence for several seconds and then I said, “Laura, was that you?” I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh. She said, “Nnnoooo, it was NOT me!” We laughed for about half and hour about it. I continued to laugh most of the day anytime I thought about it. He continued to fart about the office all week, not even batting an eye. We had a good time laughing about it, but give me a break!
This week has been the same only with smell effect! This does NOT make me laugh. Now he putts around leaving this smell, like bad produce (Lay off the broccoli man).
We finally mentioned it to our boss who said he would talk to him. Guess what he said?
He said he didn’t know he was doing it! He is hard of hearing and couldn’t hear himself farting around the office.
WTF! What about the feeling of air leaving your puckered old rectum? What about the smell? He has to know that he is doing this. I am so like…sure!!!!!!

I know when I fluff (girl-like), how about you?

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Rummy and Coke

My boys had a 6:30 a.m. flight this morning.
That means we had to be at the airport at 4:30
That means we had to leave the house at 3:15
Which meant that I had to get up at 2:00!

I feel yucky, way to much caffeine.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

My liver is turning green and my toenails are falling off

Why do we feel so comfortable talking to our hairdressers? I called to make an appointment today and when she asked how I was, I said, “I’m great, except for the fact that my pants keep falling down and my hair is sticking up!”. Why the hell did I feel the need to blurt that out?! Good thing she has a great sense of humor and she knows me. She might think I’m mental otherwise. DON’T EVEN SAY IT!!

I think that might make a good theme for a country song…
My pants are falling down
My hair is sticking up
My baby done and left me
And she took my pick-up truck

White trash

Yes, I went dumpster diving this weekend. It is my new, favorite past time. You can’t even imagine what I found in there (besides the bacon grease all over my favorite lip gloss).
All in all, it was a pretty good weekend. Friday night both boys were at sleepovers so a friend and I decided to meet for drinks. She stood me up, again! I was mad but after a few drinks I just made new friends. We called a taxi and bar hopped to several “beach bars”. We danced at the “Sand Castle” played pool at the “Pee Pee Palace” (long story) and returned for more fun at “The Lobster Trap”. I had so much fun! Ha-ha, take that you bossy, stander upper!!
Most of Saturday was spent recovering. I did some cleaning, some lying down, some cooking, some lying down, some errands, and some more lying down. Saturday night the boys and I watched a movie and ate popcorn (well, they watched the movie, I dozed).
Sunday, we took our usual bike ride to the Farmers Market. I didn’t bother with the produce because the boys are leaving for their dads and it would just go to waste. We wandered over to a boat show and then to “Sea Fresh” to sit on the patio. The weather was perfect; so we drank a few beers and listened to Teresa Russell play her magical guitar.
We rode our bikes home and on my way in I tossed some trash into the dumpster. I stood there while the boys laughed like crazy baboons. I just stood there, holding the garbage as my purse sailed over the wall and into the dumpster. Of course I was wearing light pink and white, perfect colors for dumpster diving! My lip-gloss was everywhere (that will teach me to keep my entire collection in the front pouch of my purse). I found as much of my stuff as possible and climbed out with garbage clinging to my legs. We took showers (me first), ate dinner and climbed in bed early.
It was a pretty good, relaxing weekend, and except for the fact that Nick now has Herpes, we are all clean and feeling well.
Thank God, Nicks Leukemia has cleared up, but now he has a pimple that he is just sure is Herpes. Some girl in his class had a cold sore and he is just positive that he caught it. I have tried everything short of the doctors office to convince him it is a friggin’ pimple. I have never seen a cold sore on someone’s forehead. Oh well, it will go away in a few days and a new crisis will take its place…he has to go to his dad’s.

Monday, March 21, 2005


Me, digging my purse out of the dumpster! How was your weekend?! Posted by Hello

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Hell hath no fury...

Like an Irishman scorned!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all. Someone asked me this morning if I was Irish. I said, “I used to get a little Irish in me now and then”. Horribly inappropriate and un-lady like, I know. HEHEHE

Nick called me from school this morning saying that his friend J has 3 tickets to a Led Zeppelin concert on March 30th. He has been invited to go with J and his dad. Problem is…he is scheduled to leave for his dads on the 24th. I told him this is not an option, it is court ordered visitation. He said that he would call his dad and ask if he can skip this visit. This is not a good idea, but I think Nick is really looking for any excuse to not go to his fathers (because of issues posted earlier). Unfortunately, things have gotten worse with the “modeling” situation. Nick tried to call and clear things up and his dad asked him to call back another day because “It is G’s birthday and she is very upset about this whole thing, it has ruined her b-day”. He blamed her bad day on Nick! What a dick! He then demanded that Nick tell him who had talked him out of the modeling (meaning me).
Anyway, the whole thing is getting out of hand.
If I call their father and tell him that Nick doesn’t want to come, he will blame me for turning him against them, threaten to take me to court (which means going to Washington), and then belittle Nick. Nick told me he wants to call himself and tell him. This is a huge step for him, but… all HELL will break loose!

Well, I am off to do some work, or at least look like I am working!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

It's something and nothing

I am in a funky mood!
I don’t have anything to say, well, nothing nice.
I am tired, emotionally and physically.
I don’t know if my husband is coming home, I don’t know if I care!
I am feeling snubbed by my friends and neighbors but I’ll be damned if I am going to call them. I have this problem with initiating things (most things). I feel like I am always interrupting something or they might not want to talk to me, so I don’t call. I know, I know, pick up the phone, problem solved.
Money is always an issue living in Calif.
Raising a teenager is hard.
Working two jobs is draining.
My house is clean but my closets… sick (not in a cool way). I am a bit obsessive (I seem to be saying that a lot lately) about my house. There is not enough time in the day to get everything done and I stress about it. Unfortunately my closets suffer. If I don’t see it, I am cool, open the closet and my heart starts thumping!
My family is having some communication issues and I wish I could shove them in my closet too. This is one thing that may send me over the edge.
See, what did I say, nothing nice, nothing interesting, nothing funny. Woe is me.
I am done feeling sorry for myself, I think.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

In a pickle

The boys’ dad and step-mom are busy. Step-mom is a has been, umm, I mean used to be a model (cat claws bared). She is constantly trying to talk Nick into competing in a model search. Nick is just not interested. I am not really pleased with the thought of him spending all of his free time (and mine) going on auditions and worrying about what he is eating. This is not the lifestyle we are interested in living.
The ex and family are coming to Hollywood in August for a big Dance/Model competition. They have been “encouraging” Nick to say yes to competing in this event. They have sugar coated the whole situation with “you can make enough money to pay for college” or “you could be famous” even “this is a once in a lifetime chance”. Now what kid doesn’t dream of these things, gosh, I still do!
Last Sunday night, about 8:30 p.m., step-mom calls. She knows I put the boys to bed between 8:30 and 9:00 (Nick would die if anyone found out). She tells Nick, who is sitting there with a horrified look on his face, that he has until noon on Monday (the next day) to make a decision. He would be in school on Monday so that actually left him 30 minutes to make that decision. He tells her, in a not so convincing voice, “Ummm, I don’t think I really want to do it”. He continues to make some panic faces and says a few more, “no thanks” and I don’t think so”. I can tell he is stressed so I ask to speak with her. She rambled on and on about Bob Eubanks (I thought he was dead) and the different modeling agencies, including the one she used to model for, and the fact that Nickelodeon and Disney and blah, blah, blah… I only got one-word responses in until I finally just butted in. I told her that the decision was Nick’s and that I thought he had tried to tell her he wasn’t interested. He totally flipped out and started waving his hands and shaking his head. He actually started to cry and mouthed to me that they would be mad. He wants more than anything to please his dad; well, he really just doesn’t want to make him mad. He is a very unforgiving man. I feel bad that he feels this way. He has never been able to speak his mind to his father, out of fear. I had to take back what I had just said to step-mom. I told her the decision was up to Nick, and that I would stand by him, support him, and drive him to hell and back, if he was serious.
Nick and I did our verbal rendition of a Pros and Cons list. His biggest pro and con were the same issue- making his dad happy, or not making him mad. I told him to NOT think about his dad or step-mom or me or anyone else but himself. I said he needed to answer a couple of questions for himself:

Is this something I think I will enjoy doing?
Am I prepared to make the sacrifices needed to accomplish this?
Will this get me to a place I want to be in my future?

He decided to say “yes”. He sent his step-mom an email saying so. The next morning when I got out of the shower Nick was sitting on the couch crying. I already knew what was wrong. He told me that he had felt pressured and that he had made the wrong decision. I told him that he needed to call and tell them that he had changed his mind. He was an absolute wreck but he made the call and left a message. His father has not spoken to him since.
Last night, (a week later) we get an email from step-mom saying that she is excited and has made arrangements to have Nick’s portfolio shot while he is visiting for spring break. She is also going to teach him how to walk and how to stand. She is not going to take “no” for an answer. We sent her an email back saying that there must be a misunderstanding, he is not interested.
I don’t really know what part to play in this whole situation. I do not have a good relationship with their father; in fact he wishes me dead every chance he gets. I want to protect him, of course, but I want him to learn to stand up for himself, to say NO if he means it. I also want him to know if he commits to something he has to follow through. He doesn’t want to go to his fathers now. He will be 1000 miles away and I won’t be much help. I explained that love isn’t a reward for pleasing behavior, it is unconditional. I guess it is hard to understand that, when all you feel you get from a parent is disapproval and love based on circumstances. I’m sure they know my love is unconditional- I can tell it in the way they try and walk all over me.

Monday, March 14, 2005

I have nothing nice to say...

so I won't say anything at all!


DAMN, STUPID, CRAPPY, FUCKING PERIOD!!

I just couldn't help myself.

Friday, March 11, 2005

I don't know about you...

but I am repulsed by the new Carl's Jr. adds. The smart ass baby makes me want to scream. I have never consider abortion an option, ever-but this makes me reconsider. The T.V add where he threatens to "grab something on the way out" makes me cross my legs and try not to gag! It is disgusting! The radio version ends with "I could always come out butt first, you would be walking funny for a week!" That is not really appetizing, in fact I may never eat there again! What were they thinking?

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Twinkle toes and her son

When my boys were little, (when they still wanted to do everything I did) I would paint their nails with clear polish when I painted mine. This eventually progressed to clear with sparkles. Nick quickly outgrew this but Devon didn’t. This made their dad very angry. He was a mans man and he thought I was turning “his boys” into sissies! He was sure I was going to make them gay (funny I ever divorced the charming, intelligent gent). I assured him that I would not damage their manhood in anyway and that it was fairly normal behavior. Devon eventually moved on too…to Barbie dolls and The Easy Bake Oven! (that just convinced his father that I had ruined him).
He is now all boy. This leads me to Friday night.

After dropping Nick off at a friend’s house, Devon and I stopped to get something to eat. We wandered into a drug store and bought a few things, including some foot cream. We decided we would go home and soak our feet in my footbath. We did some soaking, some scrubbing, and some clipping. I rubbed Devon’s feet with the foot cream and he said it felt “better than eating 10 candy bars” (that is the ultimate heaven to him). I decided to paint my toenails and Devon sat with me, watching Smallville. He finally asked me if I still had “that sparkly” polish?
OMG, Oooooohhh Noooo, I thought to myself, 11 is a little too old for painted nails. I told him that I did. He asked if he could look at it and I took it out of my bag and handed it to him. He rolled it around in his hands and then said, “Could we paint my nails?” OH LORDY! I didn’t want him to feel bad about wanting his nails painted so I said, “sure”.
He promptly reached into the bag and pulled out my brightest shade of red and said, “how about this one?” I tried to convince him that red is really hard to remove, no such luck! He was rolling the bottle in his hands and he asked me “do any boys who aren’t gay paint their nails?” I told him that I know men who get manicures (I just failed to mention that they don’t paint their nails red). I did manage to talk him into only painting his big toes. They looked lovely and we lay on the couch together and admired our toes. Will he outgrow this? Do I really care? Nope!
It was a nice Friday night.

His dad would kill me, I mean really kill me, not just kinda but completely kill me!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005


He just can't believe I want to eat his friend! Posted by Hello

This is one of the lemons our friend grew, as big as an orange!! Posted by Hello

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Weekend

I am adjusting to my new hair. I have gotten mixed reviews. I thought it would make me feel "girly" or more "womanly". Instead, I feel like Bigfoots mother!
I am going to the salon today to have a few inches cut off and then we are off to a Clippers game! I am going to have it styled next week, I think that will help. I was foolish enough to pay a butt load for the hair, I have to make it work for a while.Oh well, I am trying not to be blue about the whole thing, live and learn. I hope I learn before I die!
I am off to the beach for a much needed walk...have a great weekend.
Go Clippers!!

Friday, March 04, 2005

Warning!

On the "Warning Statement" that came with my new flat iron:

#4- Never use while sleeping

?????????? OK!

I'm stuck with it!!!

I don’t think I like the hair! I remember now why I cut it in the first place! It is strange to walk by a mirror or window and see myself with long hair.

I feel like Caroline Ingalls. She never looked right when she took her hair down for bed.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

They all love me, don't they

Despite the fact that Oxnard has over 180,000 people, the beachside community where I live is fairly small. Although we are technically Oxnard, the locals refer to the area as Channel Islands Harbor. Channel Islands Harbor includes the houses that sit on the water and a few blocks surrounding. To the right, along the beach is Oxnard Shores (recently re-named Mandalay Shores) and to the left is Hollywood Beach. These three areas have a combined population of about 2,500 people. A lot of the OSL’s (Oxnard Shore locals) are second and third generation beach bums (with great jobs). You either know personally or recognize most of the locals (except for some weekenders). This is a very laid back, friendly bunch of people. The theme for our block party last year was “I LOOOOVE my neighbors”.

Yesterday after work I made a trip to the grocery store to get some essentials. On the way out of the parking lot someone honked and waved at me. I wasn’t paying that much attention and I just waved back. It is a short drive home and people kept waving at me. I said to the boys, “Isn’t it great to live in such a friendly place?” I had that “I never want to leave my mom” feeling. We pulled into the garage and got out of the car. Of course Nick was the first one out and I heard him say “Oh MOM!” I had left the milk on top of the car. Whoops, I guess I am not as loved as I thought, just a nerd!