Tagged and Twitterpated!!

Place an x by all the things you've done; this is for your entire life:
(x) Smoked a cigarette
(x) Drank so much you threw up
() Crashed a friend's car
() Stolen a car
(x) Been in love
(x) Been dumped
(x) Quit your job
(x) Been in a fist fight
(x) Snuck out of your parent's house
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( x) Been arrested
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(x) Seen someone die
(x) Been to Canada
() Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the world.
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Felt like dying
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x ) Played cops and robbers(
x) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
(x) Made prank phone calls- that was way before *69
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Made a bonfire on the beach
(x) Crashed a party
(x) Gone roller-skating
( x) Ice-skating

1. Any nicknames? Amos-seed-us dinga ling-us Rise-a ring-us *you asked*
2. Mother's name? Kris
3. What is your favorite drink? Beer, Diet Dr. Pepper
4. Tattoos? 5
5. Body piercing? Just Ears
6. How much do you love your job? A lot, on payday
7. Birthplace: Casa Grande, Arizona
8. Favorite vacation spot? Anywhere work isn’t
9. Ever been to Africa? No
10. Ever steal any traffic signs? Yes
11. Ever been in a car accident? Yes12.
A, B, C, D, DD cup size? Full C
13. 2 Door or 4 Door? 4 door
14. Salad dressing? Blue Cheese
15. Favorite pie? Pumpkin and Peach
16. Favorite number? 14
17. Favorite movie? I am Sam, Grease, Shrek, anything with Nicholas Cage or John Travolta
18. Favorite holiday? I love any day that gets me a day off of work.
19. Favorite food? Mexican and Italian
20. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
21. Favorite brand of body soap? Dove or Lever
22. Favorite TV show? CSI, American Idol, anything on Court TV or The Learning Channel
23. Favorite brand of toothpaste? Crest
24. Favorite smell? Clean laundry
25. What do you do to relax? Watch TV, walk on the beach, clean my house
26. What do you want to say to all of your friends reading this? What friends? I didn’t know I had any friends!
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully having survived two teenage boys and enjoying myself at the beach.
28. What do you do when you are bored? Laundry.
29. Where is the furthest place this message will go? Texas, if my sister will ever read my blog like she promised.

HAHA

OMG!

The lady I share the office with has been having female problems. She had a doctors appt today and when she came back, she called everyone she knew to tell them the diagnosis. She has cracks is her vagina caused by dryness. She said it so loud that the people in the office across the hall gave us funny looks. I wanted to holler "Hey, its not me! I'm plenty moist"! I just can't believe she shared this news with everyone so LOUDLY.
I suggested she "use that thing" before it totally seized up! She didn't think I was funny.

The joys of a site counter

People that visit my blog are usually searching for:

Why does my breath smell bad

Husbands forced to wear panties

Slimy poop

How to eat pussy

Bonnie meets Clyde

How much did you pay?

I paid $3.23 for Unleaded this morning. How much did you pay?

Starting off on the wrong foot

1. I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning...literally! I moved my bed yesterday and when I startled awake, I sat up and jumped out of bed, or should I say, jumped into the wall. I got up and went for a walk only to come home and find out it was only 3:30 a.m! Moving my bed=moving my alarm clock= reseting the time and alarm= me, up at 2:30 am.

2. My CD player jammed in the car and I had to listen to "The Hurdy Gurdy Man" 100 times in a row. Butthole Surfers my ass!

3. Arriving at work 3 minutes late I proceeded to spill coffee down the front of my new pink sweater.

When you start the day like this, it can only get better.