My favorite monster
Sunday, October 31, 2004
"The Question"
My 13 yr old son has "officially" become a teenager. Sure, he has been 13 for 10 months now, but things are really starting to change for us. He has always been the boy who tells me everything, even when it got him in trouble. I would wonder to myself if he was "extremely honest" or just "not-so-bright". Those days are rapidly disappearing.
Over the past couple of months he has stopped telling me EVERYTHING and started telling me not much. I haven't caught him telling out-right lies but just not telling me the whole truth. I am not use to this. I am bracing myself for the next few years, doing my mental push ups!
Today, on the way to a friends house he says "Mom, I need to ask you a question and you have to promise not to flip out". My heart started racing...drugs, sex, what could it possibly be? "O.K" I reply in a squeaky voice. Things were really quiet in the back seat where he was sitting. I brace myself for the question and wonder if I should pull the car over. Then he speaks- the question I have been dreading since the day he was born-
"Mom, can a person die from taking to many laxatives?"
(At a sleep over the week before, they had dared a kid to eat Ex-lax, he was feeling guilty)
Over the past couple of months he has stopped telling me EVERYTHING and started telling me not much. I haven't caught him telling out-right lies but just not telling me the whole truth. I am not use to this. I am bracing myself for the next few years, doing my mental push ups!
Today, on the way to a friends house he says "Mom, I need to ask you a question and you have to promise not to flip out". My heart started racing...drugs, sex, what could it possibly be? "O.K" I reply in a squeaky voice. Things were really quiet in the back seat where he was sitting. I brace myself for the question and wonder if I should pull the car over. Then he speaks- the question I have been dreading since the day he was born-
"Mom, can a person die from taking to many laxatives?"
(At a sleep over the week before, they had dared a kid to eat Ex-lax, he was feeling guilty)
Friday, October 29, 2004
The evolution of a parents brain
When our children are small, our brains function at maximum level, unrivaled, we seem to have unlimited knowledge.
What happens as they grow older is bamboozling to me. I don't know if it is from the strain of daily living or all the markers we sniffed when we were younger, some kind of brain damage occurs.
By the time they are teenagers our mental capacity has diminished to the point of no-return. We know next-to-nothing, actually, that is giving us too much credit. It is a wonder we actually survive during these years, cooking, cleaning, showing up to work, breathing. It is a good thing we have our children to look after us.
Our brains are astonishing! They can actually repair themselves. What we thought was irreversible brain damage is miraculously reversed. By the time our children have grown into young adults we have almost returned to our original level of exceptional cerebral aptitude.
Thank God our children grow up, or we would be "brainless" for the rest of our lives!
What happens as they grow older is bamboozling to me. I don't know if it is from the strain of daily living or all the markers we sniffed when we were younger, some kind of brain damage occurs.
By the time they are teenagers our mental capacity has diminished to the point of no-return. We know next-to-nothing, actually, that is giving us too much credit. It is a wonder we actually survive during these years, cooking, cleaning, showing up to work, breathing. It is a good thing we have our children to look after us.
Our brains are astonishing! They can actually repair themselves. What we thought was irreversible brain damage is miraculously reversed. By the time our children have grown into young adults we have almost returned to our original level of exceptional cerebral aptitude.
Thank God our children grow up, or we would be "brainless" for the rest of our lives!
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Quotes from my "not so famous" co-worker
Over the last week I have been taking notes at work, quotes that a co-worker just doesn't get right. I try hard not to laugh. I don't want to hurt her feelings and I don't want her to stop. Here are my favorites:
"That is about as easy as a sore tooth"
"Don't cut off your foot before your hand"
"I slept like a log on a fire"
"They act like we are trying to rob Peter to pay Mary"
I try to control the giggle, she means well.
"That is about as easy as a sore tooth"
"Don't cut off your foot before your hand"
"I slept like a log on a fire"
"They act like we are trying to rob Peter to pay Mary"
I try to control the giggle, she means well.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Yeah Red Sox
YYYEEEAAAHH Red Sox! I am not a huge baseball fanatic, but I know if you wash the Red Socks with the "whites" you get PINK!
What about my aura?
Tonight in the grocery store a lady stopped me and said "I just have to tell you, you have a very nice pink aura". I said "thank you" and walked on, thinking to myself- "These are Converse, lady, pink Converse".
I did go home and look up "auras" online and this is what I learned: "An aura is the energy field around all matter that takes space, whether that is a person, plant, animal, or an object. Each color represents a different aspect of that matter."
I am sure you are wondering- what does pink represent? Me too!
Pink- This is the color of love. It represents compassion, and possibly a love for art and beauty. I like that!
This site went on to list the most frequently asked questions. Here are my favorites:
1. Q.How far does the aura extend from the body?
A.This varies depending upon the person's development. In most people, our auras extend about eight feet from the body.
(I dont know about you girls, but Ive never seen anything extend farther than about 5 inches)
2. Q.What can I do to strenghten my aura?
A. A proper diet, fresh air, exercise, and sunlight can all be helpful factors. Meditation is a great way to strengthen your aura, as can certain music, such as new age and classical music. Keeping a crystal near you is helpful as well.
(sound to much like keeping a pet, or a funky roommate)
Can someone really see colors around me? I really do feel pink most days. Ask anyone who knows me and they will say "She is most definitly PINK".
I did go home and look up "auras" online and this is what I learned: "An aura is the energy field around all matter that takes space, whether that is a person, plant, animal, or an object. Each color represents a different aspect of that matter."
I am sure you are wondering- what does pink represent? Me too!
Pink- This is the color of love. It represents compassion, and possibly a love for art and beauty. I like that!
This site went on to list the most frequently asked questions. Here are my favorites:
1. Q.How far does the aura extend from the body?
A.This varies depending upon the person's development. In most people, our auras extend about eight feet from the body.
(I dont know about you girls, but Ive never seen anything extend farther than about 5 inches)
2. Q.What can I do to strenghten my aura?
A. A proper diet, fresh air, exercise, and sunlight can all be helpful factors. Meditation is a great way to strengthen your aura, as can certain music, such as new age and classical music. Keeping a crystal near you is helpful as well.
(sound to much like keeping a pet, or a funky roommate)
Can someone really see colors around me? I really do feel pink most days. Ask anyone who knows me and they will say "She is most definitly PINK".
Monday, October 25, 2004
Facing the Past
Do you ever think back on your life and have a feeling what you remember is not real, but a dream?
Over the last 6 months I have been thinking a lot about the past, not just for memory's sake, but to try and make sense of the present. I have told myself over and over that I had the best childhood, the perfect family, everythings rosey. It is hard to face the fact that your parents weren't (aren't) perfect.
I am the oldest of four kids and I seem to have the hardest time with this. My sister, who is six years younger seems to have a whole different set of memories of "Growing up Rising" Sure I know that my dad was an alcoholic, wrecked our family cars, made my mom cry and scared us shitless most of the time. That just seems to get buried in the happy memories. I think this is good. Isn't it?
What happy memories? Family vacations, laying in the back of the station wagon listening to John Denver on the tape recorder. Playing with my brother and sister for hours outside. Make believe trips in the old Rambler parked out back. Taking care of my 25 hampsters and 6 rabbits.
What I don't care to address? Playing outside for hours because we were scared to go inside. Turning up the tape recorder so we didn't hear my dad. Getting to play in the Rambler because my dad had wrecked it. Needing to take care of someone so bad, wanting to be needed and loved.
I still don't think I get it. When my siblings talk about how messed up our family is, I don't see it. Something I dont see, but know deep inside is holding me hostage. Things in my life seem to always go awry, or do I jump ship when things get tough? I am deathly afraid of not being loved. I am trying to slowly analyze my life, my choices, my feelings. It is hard, so hard I feel I might burst. It is so much easier to live in "the pink".
Over the last 6 months I have been thinking a lot about the past, not just for memory's sake, but to try and make sense of the present. I have told myself over and over that I had the best childhood, the perfect family, everythings rosey. It is hard to face the fact that your parents weren't (aren't) perfect.
I am the oldest of four kids and I seem to have the hardest time with this. My sister, who is six years younger seems to have a whole different set of memories of "Growing up Rising" Sure I know that my dad was an alcoholic, wrecked our family cars, made my mom cry and scared us shitless most of the time. That just seems to get buried in the happy memories. I think this is good. Isn't it?
What happy memories? Family vacations, laying in the back of the station wagon listening to John Denver on the tape recorder. Playing with my brother and sister for hours outside. Make believe trips in the old Rambler parked out back. Taking care of my 25 hampsters and 6 rabbits.
What I don't care to address? Playing outside for hours because we were scared to go inside. Turning up the tape recorder so we didn't hear my dad. Getting to play in the Rambler because my dad had wrecked it. Needing to take care of someone so bad, wanting to be needed and loved.
I still don't think I get it. When my siblings talk about how messed up our family is, I don't see it. Something I dont see, but know deep inside is holding me hostage. Things in my life seem to always go awry, or do I jump ship when things get tough? I am deathly afraid of not being loved. I am trying to slowly analyze my life, my choices, my feelings. It is hard, so hard I feel I might burst. It is so much easier to live in "the pink".
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