IN CASE YOU'VE BEEN WONDERING...
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Thursday, July 21, 2005
I wonder if I'll get a trophy
My new title: Mom, Life ruiner and Everything Wrecker.
1. The boys are at their fathers for their annual six-week summer stay. This is a long time to be apart so we send a lot of text messages back and forth. Nick informed me on Monday that his friend D had gotten them tickets to OzzFest. I have some serious concerns about letting him attending this concert. This has led to some serious tegging (text begging).
I told him on Monday that I was still thinking through my answer. He sent me a message saying,
“If you don’t let me go my life will be ruined!”
We went back and forth until he decided I wasn’t falling for “the rest of my life will be spent trying to recover this horrible loss”. I still have not made up my mind.
2. Because of money issues I just scheduled the boys return flight on Tuesday. I found a fairly affordable flight on August 16th. That gives the boys a couple of weeks to get back into the routine of things. That will work fine for everyone, or so I thought. Nick called me all worked up last night.
N-“Don’t tell me we aren’t coming home until the 16th!?” he said.
M-“OK” I replied.
N-“Moooom, I want to come home earlier!! I have a birthday partly on the 12th!”
M-“Well I guess you forgot to tell me about it and the ticket is already booked.”
N- “ YOU WRECK EVERYTHING!”
That little shit sure knows how to make me feel bad. To cheer myself up I am going out for some really good sushi tonight!
1. The boys are at their fathers for their annual six-week summer stay. This is a long time to be apart so we send a lot of text messages back and forth. Nick informed me on Monday that his friend D had gotten them tickets to OzzFest. I have some serious concerns about letting him attending this concert. This has led to some serious tegging (text begging).
I told him on Monday that I was still thinking through my answer. He sent me a message saying,
“If you don’t let me go my life will be ruined!”
We went back and forth until he decided I wasn’t falling for “the rest of my life will be spent trying to recover this horrible loss”. I still have not made up my mind.
2. Because of money issues I just scheduled the boys return flight on Tuesday. I found a fairly affordable flight on August 16th. That gives the boys a couple of weeks to get back into the routine of things. That will work fine for everyone, or so I thought. Nick called me all worked up last night.
N-“Don’t tell me we aren’t coming home until the 16th!?” he said.
M-“OK” I replied.
N-“Moooom, I want to come home earlier!! I have a birthday partly on the 12th!”
M-“Well I guess you forgot to tell me about it and the ticket is already booked.”
N- “ YOU WRECK EVERYTHING!”
That little shit sure knows how to make me feel bad. To cheer myself up I am going out for some really good sushi tonight!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Friday, July 01, 2005
I AM OFF...
TO COLLINGWOOD,
ONTARIO.
TO SEE
MY HUSBAND.
WISH ME LUCK!
CAN ANYONE HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS BLOG?!
ONTARIO.
TO SEE
MY HUSBAND.
WISH ME LUCK!
CAN ANYONE HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS BLOG?!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
It's official...
I have finally become a California driver…and I am ASHAMED!!!
This morning I made a left-hand turn into the far right lane. It felt wrong. I am usually one of those silly drivers that use my turn signals and turn into the lane closest to me (like I learned in drivers training). Didn’t everyone else learn these rules of the road? Around here, that can cause an accident!
What's next for me? Maybe lane changes without signaling!!
This morning I made a left-hand turn into the far right lane. It felt wrong. I am usually one of those silly drivers that use my turn signals and turn into the lane closest to me (like I learned in drivers training). Didn’t everyone else learn these rules of the road? Around here, that can cause an accident!
What's next for me? Maybe lane changes without signaling!!
Monday, June 27, 2005
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Monday, June 20, 2005
I wasn't born yesterday
This is the text I got from Nick this morning:
I jst got detention 4 no reason
My reply:
I guess u r grnded 4 no reason
I jst got detention 4 no reason
My reply:
I guess u r grnded 4 no reason
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
God save the Queen!
Last night Nick received a call from ex-brother-in-law. He told Nick that they had just issued a Tsunami warning and being we live at the beach; we should RUN FOR THE HILLS!!! Royalty runs in the ex’s family (drama is what they do). Sooo, Nick, being the royal boy he is, freaks out.
Should he pack his stuff?
What should he take?
How much time do I think we have to live?
I tried to reassure him that we were not in any danger. Uncle S calls back to tell us that he has sent us a link online to the National Disaster Something-or- other. He told Nick to get online and monitor the situation. I told Nick to get in bed and let me be the “disaster monitor”. He just couldn’t sleep, he was all wound up. Here death was, knocking on our door, and I wanted him to go to bed! I watched the local T.V station and found out the warning had been cancelled, so I went to bed. I woke up at 2 am and I could hear the TV was on in the boy’s room. I wish I had taken a picture of the “Queen” himself. He was sleeping sideways on his bed with his head facing the TV, remote still in his hand and the TV on the local news station. I don’t know how late he was awake.
This morning, when he was feeling a little more secure about his destiny he said, “If there was a Tsunami, I would have just rode the wave on my board!”
HA, I tried not to laugh and a didn’t mention my 2 am discovery.
Should he pack his stuff?
What should he take?
How much time do I think we have to live?
I tried to reassure him that we were not in any danger. Uncle S calls back to tell us that he has sent us a link online to the National Disaster Something-or- other. He told Nick to get online and monitor the situation. I told Nick to get in bed and let me be the “disaster monitor”. He just couldn’t sleep, he was all wound up. Here death was, knocking on our door, and I wanted him to go to bed! I watched the local T.V station and found out the warning had been cancelled, so I went to bed. I woke up at 2 am and I could hear the TV was on in the boy’s room. I wish I had taken a picture of the “Queen” himself. He was sleeping sideways on his bed with his head facing the TV, remote still in his hand and the TV on the local news station. I don’t know how late he was awake.
This morning, when he was feeling a little more secure about his destiny he said, “If there was a Tsunami, I would have just rode the wave on my board!”
HA, I tried not to laugh and a didn’t mention my 2 am discovery.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
What a way to start the day
I am in a pleasant place, warm and friendly.
It is bright and clean, like an empty house with freshly painted walls.
I am happy to be there.
I feel like this is my place.
Slowly I start floating, my contentment is like helium.
Soon I am floating on my back and slowly ascending through layers of sleep.
I am at peace, a blissful feeling, floating…
Even before I am fully awake, I am aware that I am still in a bright place. The last layers of sleep rush by and my eyes pop open. It is light in my room! I sit up too quickly and my head spins. I finally focus on my alarm- 5:48 a.m. HOLY SHIT!!!!! I forgot to set the alarm. Late, Late, Late.
It is bright and clean, like an empty house with freshly painted walls.
I am happy to be there.
I feel like this is my place.
Slowly I start floating, my contentment is like helium.
Soon I am floating on my back and slowly ascending through layers of sleep.
I am at peace, a blissful feeling, floating…
Even before I am fully awake, I am aware that I am still in a bright place. The last layers of sleep rush by and my eyes pop open. It is light in my room! I sit up too quickly and my head spins. I finally focus on my alarm- 5:48 a.m. HOLY SHIT!!!!! I forgot to set the alarm. Late, Late, Late.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
BATTLE ON MAJORCA DRIVE
Nick has been growing his hair for about 9 months now. He is going for the “surfer look”. I am not really fond of his hair but agreed to let him grow it as long as his attitude didn’t change and he continued to get good grades. He has kept his grades up but the last month his attitude has been, well, an attitude. He has been mouthy and cocky, two things that really piss me off. I have kinda let it slide because he just takes sooo much energy to deal with. Over the weekend I decided that I had better get it all in check before it got out of hand.
We went clothes shopping on Monday after work. Now that he is a full fledged, hormonal teen, he is not fun to shop with (unless it is for something he really wants). He didn’t want to try any of the shorts on, nothing looked right, blah blah blah. He spied a belt buckle with a canteen on it (that’s what he called it. Give me a break, it was a small flask) and went moony over it. I said, “no you may not have the flask belt buckle”. He protested, “Mom, it’s a canteen!”. I suggested I drop him off in the desert and see how long he survived with his canteen. Anyway, he didn’t like that answer and wanted to know exactly why, and reminded me several times that “because I said so” is not an answer. I hate back talk and especially in public places. (I don’t holler at my kids in public places, I save that for home) I suggested we take ourselves out to the car, not to discuss the buckle, but to check his attitude. He thought otherwise, maybe I was going to change my mind (or let him talk me into it). He told me he could put energy drinks in the canteen (ha, I don’t even let him drink energy drinks and the flask only hold a couple of ounces). He continued to try and work his magic on me even though I told him to stop. I ended up grounding him and we had dinner in silence (poor Devon had to listen to us all night). He pouted the rest of the evening and made sly comments all night that related to the stupid belt buckle.
Tuesday he was fine until right before dinner when he asked “Do you think I could have that belt buckle for Graduation?” I couldn’t believe my ears (really, I could, I am just being dramatic). Round two, ding-ding! I can’t believe that I actually argued with him! We went round and round for about 10 minutes and I then I called the fight- on the fact that dinner was burning. He did this cocky little salute and said, “Yes maaaaam!” as he walked away. I flipped! I calmly looked at him and said “Get your clothes on and meet me in the car”.
I could tell by the look on his face he was puzzled and a little worried. He barely had the door shut when I started rolling. “Mom, where are we going?” he asks all innocently. “To have your hair cut!” I say. Floodgates open: He begins crying like a heartbroken teenage girl. By the time we drive out front gate, he was hysterical. He promised to never talk back or be disrespectful again, in his whole life! He promised me his Ipod, his surfboard and his skim board. I calmly tell him that I had warned him many times over the last month that his hair was going to go if his attitude didn’t. I was afraid for a moment that he wouldn’t get out of the car and he is now bigger than me. We sat in front of Supercuts for 10 minutes while he sobbed. I caved a little and told him if he would “get it together” I would only have them cut 2 inches off. I said if he didn’t “get it together” I would ask them to shave his head. Mean, huh?! Finally he got out and went inside. He sniffed the whole time she cut his hair. You would have thought I asked the girl to remove his whole head. He looks fine, actually much better. Now if he would just comb it. He was an angel the rest of the night. I am crossing my fingers that this will be the end of the attitude for a while. What are the chances? He is 141/2, I am trying to be realistic.
We went clothes shopping on Monday after work. Now that he is a full fledged, hormonal teen, he is not fun to shop with (unless it is for something he really wants). He didn’t want to try any of the shorts on, nothing looked right, blah blah blah. He spied a belt buckle with a canteen on it (that’s what he called it. Give me a break, it was a small flask) and went moony over it. I said, “no you may not have the flask belt buckle”. He protested, “Mom, it’s a canteen!”. I suggested I drop him off in the desert and see how long he survived with his canteen. Anyway, he didn’t like that answer and wanted to know exactly why, and reminded me several times that “because I said so” is not an answer. I hate back talk and especially in public places. (I don’t holler at my kids in public places, I save that for home) I suggested we take ourselves out to the car, not to discuss the buckle, but to check his attitude. He thought otherwise, maybe I was going to change my mind (or let him talk me into it). He told me he could put energy drinks in the canteen (ha, I don’t even let him drink energy drinks and the flask only hold a couple of ounces). He continued to try and work his magic on me even though I told him to stop. I ended up grounding him and we had dinner in silence (poor Devon had to listen to us all night). He pouted the rest of the evening and made sly comments all night that related to the stupid belt buckle.
Tuesday he was fine until right before dinner when he asked “Do you think I could have that belt buckle for Graduation?” I couldn’t believe my ears (really, I could, I am just being dramatic). Round two, ding-ding! I can’t believe that I actually argued with him! We went round and round for about 10 minutes and I then I called the fight- on the fact that dinner was burning. He did this cocky little salute and said, “Yes maaaaam!” as he walked away. I flipped! I calmly looked at him and said “Get your clothes on and meet me in the car”.
I could tell by the look on his face he was puzzled and a little worried. He barely had the door shut when I started rolling. “Mom, where are we going?” he asks all innocently. “To have your hair cut!” I say. Floodgates open: He begins crying like a heartbroken teenage girl. By the time we drive out front gate, he was hysterical. He promised to never talk back or be disrespectful again, in his whole life! He promised me his Ipod, his surfboard and his skim board. I calmly tell him that I had warned him many times over the last month that his hair was going to go if his attitude didn’t. I was afraid for a moment that he wouldn’t get out of the car and he is now bigger than me. We sat in front of Supercuts for 10 minutes while he sobbed. I caved a little and told him if he would “get it together” I would only have them cut 2 inches off. I said if he didn’t “get it together” I would ask them to shave his head. Mean, huh?! Finally he got out and went inside. He sniffed the whole time she cut his hair. You would have thought I asked the girl to remove his whole head. He looks fine, actually much better. Now if he would just comb it. He was an angel the rest of the night. I am crossing my fingers that this will be the end of the attitude for a while. What are the chances? He is 141/2, I am trying to be realistic.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Smell me
I can spend a good 45 minutes in the laundry detergent aisle of Target. I love laundry. I love to smell all the different detergents and the different fabric softeners. I usually have 3 different kinds of detergents with their corresponding fabric softeners in my laundry room. Sometime, when I feel crazy, I mix them up.
Soooo, imagine my sheer delight last night when I discovered that Bath and Body Works has a new scent- COTTON BLOSSOM! It smells like lovely, fresh, clean laundry. I love it!! I will be smelling myself all day.
Soooo, imagine my sheer delight last night when I discovered that Bath and Body Works has a new scent- COTTON BLOSSOM! It smells like lovely, fresh, clean laundry. I love it!! I will be smelling myself all day.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Word of the Day-shit
Devon loves the song “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani, so we bought the CD this weekend. We decided to listen to it on our way to school this morning. The radio version is a bit different than the one on the CD. The song starts out with It’s my shit and the shit continues throughout the whole song. She says shit about a zillion times. I started hollering- “POOP”, every time she said shit. By the time we got to school Devon was laughing like a mad man. As the song ended I looked over my shoulder and said, “Damn, she has a potty mouth.” Devon giggled and said, “Why did you swear?” I told him I was just so tired of hearing shit that I had to mix it up.
Not a very appropriate start to a Monday morning. What was Gwen thinking? Wait, what was I thinking?
Not a very appropriate start to a Monday morning. What was Gwen thinking? Wait, what was I thinking?
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Friday, June 03, 2005
Sticks and Stones may break my bones
Words can be:
Enthralling
Alluring
Breathtaking
Sexual
Exciting
Healing
Inspiring
Spurious
Misleading
Deceptive
Hurtful
Void
Words can paint a picture, flat, one dimensional, reflection of what you want to be.
Words can be bigger than life
Life turns out to be much smaller than the words
Words can get YOU what you want
We want more than words
Sometimes the fantasy is much greater than the reality. Yeah, Much greater…
Enthralling
Alluring
Breathtaking
Sexual
Exciting
Healing
Inspiring
Spurious
Misleading
Deceptive
Hurtful
Void
Words can paint a picture, flat, one dimensional, reflection of what you want to be.
Words can be bigger than life
Life turns out to be much smaller than the words
Words can get YOU what you want
We want more than words
Sometimes the fantasy is much greater than the reality. Yeah, Much greater…
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Gotta love this boy
D: “Mom are you having a hot temper?”
M: “Yes honey, I guess I am”
D: “Why”
M: “Well, several reasons I guess”
D: “It’s that time, right?”
*look that could kill*
D: “Yep, it’s that time, it’s almost your bed time”
I guess I feel a little better. I think it’s a really good thing we got rid of the cat though. I feel the need to pull some hair.
Disclaimer: No animals were ever harmed in the making of this blog. Well, except for the time I stepped on the dog while making a mad dash to get the phone...O.K., I bathed the cat once with Pantene and she broke out in these hives, oh, yucky...and yes, dammit! I killed the Sea Monkeys!!!
M: “Yes honey, I guess I am”
D: “Why”
M: “Well, several reasons I guess”
D: “It’s that time, right?”
*look that could kill*
D: “Yep, it’s that time, it’s almost your bed time”
I guess I feel a little better. I think it’s a really good thing we got rid of the cat though. I feel the need to pull some hair.
Disclaimer: No animals were ever harmed in the making of this blog. Well, except for the time I stepped on the dog while making a mad dash to get the phone...O.K., I bathed the cat once with Pantene and she broke out in these hives, oh, yucky...and yes, dammit! I killed the Sea Monkeys!!!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Homework blues
Devon’s teacher is a tyrant! She gives the kids so much homework it is impossible for us to have a life. Devon requires a lot of help with his homework, which means I don’t get anything done in the evening. It is frustrating for both of us. When he has soccer practice or we have any other engagements, forget it! Last night we did homework until 9:00 p.m. That is ½ hr past his bedtime and ½ hr after my patience had run out. He was tired and whining and not concentrating so I called it a night. That meant he had to get up at 5:15 a.m. to finish his homework.
Yikes, was he a crab!!
His shirt was too small!
His pants were too tight!
His socks made his fingers dry!?
He didn’t want breakfast.
I started calling him “crabby pattie” and I thought it was pretty funny until he called me “big bikini bottom”.
What a grouch!
Yikes, was he a crab!!
His shirt was too small!
His pants were too tight!
His socks made his fingers dry!?
He didn’t want breakfast.
I started calling him “crabby pattie” and I thought it was pretty funny until he called me “big bikini bottom”.
What a grouch!
Man who stands on Toilet
is high on pot. hehehe
Yesterday at work we ordered Chinese food for lunch. My fortune said “Avenues of Good Fortune are Ahead for you”. Normally I get a good chuckle and throw them out. Yesterday I decided that this fortune was for me. I claimed it all day and put it on my calculator. All day, as I added up someone else’s money, I told myself mine was coming…someday. Guess what? It came today!!! Well, part of it
My boss called me into his wife’s office this morning. They were both there and I briefly wondered what I had done. They said that they really appreciated my hard work and my positive attitude. They said they wanted to give me a bonus, an $809.00 bonus.
That’s a nice start!
Yesterday at work we ordered Chinese food for lunch. My fortune said “Avenues of Good Fortune are Ahead for you”. Normally I get a good chuckle and throw them out. Yesterday I decided that this fortune was for me. I claimed it all day and put it on my calculator. All day, as I added up someone else’s money, I told myself mine was coming…someday. Guess what? It came today!!! Well, part of it
My boss called me into his wife’s office this morning. They were both there and I briefly wondered what I had done. They said that they really appreciated my hard work and my positive attitude. They said they wanted to give me a bonus, an $809.00 bonus.
That’s a nice start!
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
camping "me" style
I want to go camping
I need a new tent
I want a pink tent
They don’t make pink tents
Good thing
My friends said they would not
Camp with me if I have a pink tent
I guess I will settle for a pink sleeping bag
And pink flamingo corner stakes
Is there a rule against pink at camping sites?
I need a new tent
I want a pink tent
They don’t make pink tents
Good thing
My friends said they would not
Camp with me if I have a pink tent
I guess I will settle for a pink sleeping bag
And pink flamingo corner stakes
Is there a rule against pink at camping sites?
Monday, May 16, 2005
Weekend re-cap
What a weekend! We had Elvis, gorgeous weather, fine food and drinks, live music and…a school bus ride.
Friday- After work I took Nick to a friend’s house in T.O. When I got home I went for a walk on the beach with a friend. We went back to my house for a few drinks, which turned into- a few more! As we socialized, we stumbled upon the Elvis special that was on T.V. Elvis and I have this thing. It started out as a joke, but somehow he has become my mascot- of sorts. We really enjoyed the special, a little too much. So deep was my love for Vodka, um I mean Elvis, that we went online and ordered me a lovely- I (heart) Elvis sweatshirt. This is just what every 34 yr old mother of 2 needs (as if I don’t embarrass my kids enough). In approximately 1 week I will be the proud owner of another drunken online purchase. After my last purchase of this nature, I put a few rules in place for myself. No more Internet searching or phone calls after my 2nd drink. That makes a lot of sense don’t you think? Try and make me follow my own rules! Go ahead and try!!
Saturday- After some aspirin and water I did some cleaning and some laundry. I walked over to pick Devon up at his friend’s house and ended up bringing both boys home with me. I took them swimming and then we rode bikes to the movie store to rent some video games. It was early to bed for all of us.
Sunday- After a good breakfast we took a walk to the Harbor to catch a shuttle to the Strawberry Festival. The shuttle ended up being a school bus. It was kind of fun, but boy are the seats small. The festival was very busy. We had strawberry slushies, strawberry beer, strawberry nachos, chocolate covered strawberries, and some yummy beer battered garlic fries. We listened to a little music, bought some worthless trinkets and played a few games. We had to waddle back to the shuttle for our bus ride home. We spent the rest of the afternoon doing our own things. Nick went surfing, Devon played video games and I caught up on some reading. We met again for dinner, showers and my personal favorite…bedtime!
It was a fun weekend, not to busy, but busy enough.
Friday- After work I took Nick to a friend’s house in T.O. When I got home I went for a walk on the beach with a friend. We went back to my house for a few drinks, which turned into- a few more! As we socialized, we stumbled upon the Elvis special that was on T.V. Elvis and I have this thing. It started out as a joke, but somehow he has become my mascot- of sorts. We really enjoyed the special, a little too much. So deep was my love for Vodka, um I mean Elvis, that we went online and ordered me a lovely- I (heart) Elvis sweatshirt. This is just what every 34 yr old mother of 2 needs (as if I don’t embarrass my kids enough). In approximately 1 week I will be the proud owner of another drunken online purchase. After my last purchase of this nature, I put a few rules in place for myself. No more Internet searching or phone calls after my 2nd drink. That makes a lot of sense don’t you think? Try and make me follow my own rules! Go ahead and try!!
Saturday- After some aspirin and water I did some cleaning and some laundry. I walked over to pick Devon up at his friend’s house and ended up bringing both boys home with me. I took them swimming and then we rode bikes to the movie store to rent some video games. It was early to bed for all of us.
Sunday- After a good breakfast we took a walk to the Harbor to catch a shuttle to the Strawberry Festival. The shuttle ended up being a school bus. It was kind of fun, but boy are the seats small. The festival was very busy. We had strawberry slushies, strawberry beer, strawberry nachos, chocolate covered strawberries, and some yummy beer battered garlic fries. We listened to a little music, bought some worthless trinkets and played a few games. We had to waddle back to the shuttle for our bus ride home. We spent the rest of the afternoon doing our own things. Nick went surfing, Devon played video games and I caught up on some reading. We met again for dinner, showers and my personal favorite…bedtime!
It was a fun weekend, not to busy, but busy enough.
Friday, May 13, 2005
A little bit ADD
I have a thing about pop-up sprinklers. You know, the kind that… well, pop-up, spray and then go back down?
That reminds me of Devon’s Human Development class.
I can’t walk by one that hasn’t fully made its retreat into the ground. I have to stop and tap it with my foot. It makes this weird ppththttt sound and down it goes.
Oh dear, that reminds me of my wedding night. As soon as I tapped that thing, down it went. And I think my husband made a similar sound. Memories. Not really good ones.
Anyway, this preoccupation with sprinklers often irritates my walking partners.
Partners-That makes it sound like I am some sort of exercise slut.
It doesn’t matter what side of the sidewalk the sprinkler is on, or even if it is near the sidewalk. I have to dart over and tap it -ppththttt- ahhh. I don’t really understand why Mrs. Licking Lips gets so upset, she really shouldn’t be telling me her life story. This is exercise time, not social hour. Social hour comes after the walk.
That reminds me- I am out of Vodka and grapefruit juice. Geesh that girl sure can drink. I think I still have some limes.
OK, I decided on my walk this morning that I need to try and concentrate on staying focused. I feel like the poster girl for ADD.
My poor son takes after me. The very thing that irritates me about him is the one thing I can’t seem to control myself. It just makes me so mad when I am talking about something important and he changes the subject. We were talking just yesterday about se,x and I finished with “Do you understand what I am saying?” He said, “Yeah, do you remember that D is having his party this weekend?” I was like “WHAT? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ANYTHING I AM SAYING!?”
Good grief, as I was saying: I decided that I should try and walk the rest of the way back to my house and not tap a single sprinkler. It was very hard. I practically had to walk with my head turned skyward. I actually had a slightly panicked, anxious feeling.
Come to think of it, I had the same feeling when I tried to walk by the pet store without going in.
Focus lady!! I made it all the way home without tapping a sprinkler. I think this is sort of like therapy for me. I have never been very good at exercising self-control. We’ll see how long I can actually stay on the straight and narrow, sidewalk that is.
The guys delivering the morning paper may be disappointed when I am not doing my usual side-to-side sidewalk dance. Get use to it buddies, your looking at a new woman!!
That reminds me of Devon’s Human Development class.
I can’t walk by one that hasn’t fully made its retreat into the ground. I have to stop and tap it with my foot. It makes this weird ppththttt sound and down it goes.
Oh dear, that reminds me of my wedding night. As soon as I tapped that thing, down it went. And I think my husband made a similar sound. Memories. Not really good ones.
Anyway, this preoccupation with sprinklers often irritates my walking partners.
Partners-That makes it sound like I am some sort of exercise slut.
It doesn’t matter what side of the sidewalk the sprinkler is on, or even if it is near the sidewalk. I have to dart over and tap it -ppththttt- ahhh. I don’t really understand why Mrs. Licking Lips gets so upset, she really shouldn’t be telling me her life story. This is exercise time, not social hour. Social hour comes after the walk.
That reminds me- I am out of Vodka and grapefruit juice. Geesh that girl sure can drink. I think I still have some limes.
OK, I decided on my walk this morning that I need to try and concentrate on staying focused. I feel like the poster girl for ADD.
My poor son takes after me. The very thing that irritates me about him is the one thing I can’t seem to control myself. It just makes me so mad when I am talking about something important and he changes the subject. We were talking just yesterday about se,x and I finished with “Do you understand what I am saying?” He said, “Yeah, do you remember that D is having his party this weekend?” I was like “WHAT? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ANYTHING I AM SAYING!?”
Good grief, as I was saying: I decided that I should try and walk the rest of the way back to my house and not tap a single sprinkler. It was very hard. I practically had to walk with my head turned skyward. I actually had a slightly panicked, anxious feeling.
Come to think of it, I had the same feeling when I tried to walk by the pet store without going in.
Focus lady!! I made it all the way home without tapping a sprinkler. I think this is sort of like therapy for me. I have never been very good at exercising self-control. We’ll see how long I can actually stay on the straight and narrow, sidewalk that is.
The guys delivering the morning paper may be disappointed when I am not doing my usual side-to-side sidewalk dance. Get use to it buddies, your looking at a new woman!!
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Yes, she did, she really said it!
Today our receptionist came running into our office after her afternoon trip to the bathroom. She said:
“You’re not going to believe what I just did! I was trying to hurry up and I stood up and wiped at the same time, you know, to save time. I flicked pee down my leg and I didn’t know it. I pulled up my pants really fast and then it was too late, I felt something wet. Look, I got pee on my pants!”
Nope, I am not joking. This is a 34 year old woman, and she is NOT blonde.
“You’re not going to believe what I just did! I was trying to hurry up and I stood up and wiped at the same time, you know, to save time. I flicked pee down my leg and I didn’t know it. I pulled up my pants really fast and then it was too late, I felt something wet. Look, I got pee on my pants!”
Nope, I am not joking. This is a 34 year old woman, and she is NOT blonde.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Mothers Day Breakfast
My boys brought me breakfast in bed on Mother's Day. It was beautiful and BIG. I could hear them banging around in the kitchen and all kinds of thoughts were going through my head. They had purchased a magazine for me the night before and Devon used it to bribe me into not getting out of bed. When they brought the tray into me I nearly burst...with pride...with love...with laughter.
They had made me: 2 waffles (with syurp in a shot glass), 3 hard boiled eggs, 4 sausage patties, 2 pieces of toast and fruit slices, arranged around the edge of the plates (yes, two plates). Oh, yeah, don't forget the coffee and large glass of orange juice. They made me a beautiful card and they even cleaned up the mess. I was very proud!
After I rolled out of bed and into the shower, we went to church and then for lunch on the beach. Great day- And the best breakfast ever :)
They had made me: 2 waffles (with syurp in a shot glass), 3 hard boiled eggs, 4 sausage patties, 2 pieces of toast and fruit slices, arranged around the edge of the plates (yes, two plates). Oh, yeah, don't forget the coffee and large glass of orange juice. They made me a beautiful card and they even cleaned up the mess. I was very proud!
After I rolled out of bed and into the shower, we went to church and then for lunch on the beach. Great day- And the best breakfast ever :)
Friday, May 06, 2005
Stinko de Mayo
It’s official! My days of wacky dinners, dressing up, and talking the boys into funny photos are over. At least for Nick. Last night he refused to wear the sombrero and march around the restaurant with the Mariachi band. I tried everything to get him to participate.
M: Come on, it’s Cinco de Mayo!
N: We are not Mexican!
M: Geez, can’t you just share their joy?
N: No more margaritas mom!
M: Yes dear. (but for the record, I didn’t have a margarita)
M: I'll give you $5 if you get up there.
N: No way, you’ll take a picture.
M: I promise I won’t *fingers crossed*
N: No mom, no, no, no! And I’m not going to change my mind.
M: Do you want to walk home?
N: Sure, it’s not that far.
M: Oh, OK, I guess Devon and I will have to march without you.
N: *Triumphant grin*
M: Come on, it’s Cinco de Mayo!
N: We are not Mexican!
M: Geez, can’t you just share their joy?
N: No more margaritas mom!
M: Yes dear. (but for the record, I didn’t have a margarita)
M: I'll give you $5 if you get up there.
N: No way, you’ll take a picture.
M: I promise I won’t *fingers crossed*
N: No mom, no, no, no! And I’m not going to change my mind.
M: Do you want to walk home?
N: Sure, it’s not that far.
M: Oh, OK, I guess Devon and I will have to march without you.
N: *Triumphant grin*
Thursday, May 05, 2005
I had a dream...
that I went out on the town in an outfit that I use to wear 25 lbs ago. I was very pleased with the fact that I could still fit into it even though I have gained so much weight. I didn’t bother to look in the mirror until I arrived at the restaurant where I was meeting a WHOLE BUNCH of friends. As I walked through the front door I saw myself in the full-length mirror behind the front desk.
My skirt was way to tight, causing a big fat roll to hang over. It looked like I had two sets of boobs. My shirt was skintight and a few inches to short. I looked like a sausage. Of course I didn’t wear a coat, so I couldn’t hide what I didn’t want to be seen. I was horrified and as I looked down I caught sight of my black nylons. They had a huge rip that went all the way down my leg. The rip exposed my very hairy (man hairy) legs. I wanted to leave but many of my friends had already spotted me. As I riffled through my purse looking for my cell phone, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to face the pastor of my church. I started to try and explain what the heck I was doing in public looking like I did and… I woke up.
The first thing I did was check my legs for hair.
My skirt was way to tight, causing a big fat roll to hang over. It looked like I had two sets of boobs. My shirt was skintight and a few inches to short. I looked like a sausage. Of course I didn’t wear a coat, so I couldn’t hide what I didn’t want to be seen. I was horrified and as I looked down I caught sight of my black nylons. They had a huge rip that went all the way down my leg. The rip exposed my very hairy (man hairy) legs. I wanted to leave but many of my friends had already spotted me. As I riffled through my purse looking for my cell phone, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to face the pastor of my church. I started to try and explain what the heck I was doing in public looking like I did and… I woke up.
The first thing I did was check my legs for hair.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Here kitty kitty
Walk, walk, WALK… don’t look, DON’T EVEN LOOK!!!!!
I ducked into a little Mexican bakery, trying to divert my attention. Out of the corner of my eye I could see it… big, yellow, SCREAMING MY NAME!
It was the sign in the Pet Store window; broadcasting the 3 words that will always be my demise.
WE HAVE KITTENS!!!
I can’t control myself.
I am addicted to pussy!
I love cats and I can’t have them where I am currently living. The only way I will survive this season is to stay completely away from all pet stores. I mean COMPLETELY! Not even a sideway glance.
If you are driving through Ventura County and you happen to see a crazy blonde in a silver Saturn, driving with her hands over her eyes through a PETSMART parking lot…yep, that would be me.
I ducked into a little Mexican bakery, trying to divert my attention. Out of the corner of my eye I could see it… big, yellow, SCREAMING MY NAME!
It was the sign in the Pet Store window; broadcasting the 3 words that will always be my demise.
WE HAVE KITTENS!!!
I can’t control myself.
I am addicted to pussy!
I love cats and I can’t have them where I am currently living. The only way I will survive this season is to stay completely away from all pet stores. I mean COMPLETELY! Not even a sideway glance.
If you are driving through Ventura County and you happen to see a crazy blonde in a silver Saturn, driving with her hands over her eyes through a PETSMART parking lot…yep, that would be me.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Splat
If I were a bird:
I would shit on your car
Fly far, far away.
If you need me:
I will be at the beach
Drinking Greyhounds
Watching my boys play
I would shit on your car
Fly far, far away.
If you need me:
I will be at the beach
Drinking Greyhounds
Watching my boys play
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
What happened to "hello"
Last night as we are cleaning up after dinner, Nick’s cell phone starts ringing. He answers it: “Hey Dyke”. I stand there with my mouth open as he has a very friendly conversation with his friend.
After he said his goodbyes he says to me:
N: What?
M: WHO WAS THAT?
N: Daniel
M: Why did you call him a Dyke?
N: We just play around like that
M: Do you know what a Dyke is?
N: Yeah, one of those people who have both sex organs.
M: Ummm, no, that is a hermaphrodite. A Dyke is a slang term for a lesbian.
N: Oh my gosh, wait till I tell Daniel I just called him a lesbian! He is going to freak!
Maybe it is time for a refresher course of “Phone Etiquette 101”.
After he said his goodbyes he says to me:
N: What?
M: WHO WAS THAT?
N: Daniel
M: Why did you call him a Dyke?
N: We just play around like that
M: Do you know what a Dyke is?
N: Yeah, one of those people who have both sex organs.
M: Ummm, no, that is a hermaphrodite. A Dyke is a slang term for a lesbian.
N: Oh my gosh, wait till I tell Daniel I just called him a lesbian! He is going to freak!
Maybe it is time for a refresher course of “Phone Etiquette 101”.
WHOA NELLY
Mornings with Devon are never boring. He has a way with telling stories. It is like an adventure every time. Besides the fact that he has a speech impediment (sometimes he sounds Japanese), he also likes to “fill in the blanks” when he doesn’t have all the facts.
This morning’s conversation was about the lunch lady, who drives a Hummer.
D: There is the lunch ladies Hummer
M: Did she get a new car?
D: I don’t know this is a new lunch lady
M: What happened to the other lunch lady? Didn’t she drive a Hummer too?
D: Yes, she had the really big Hummer, that’s because she has been doing her job for 23 years. She started doing it when she just got out of school or college.
M: Did she get a new job?
D: I think she is just going to let her husband work for a while and rest. Or maybe she went to a retirement home or back to college.
M: Well goodness, how old is she?
D: Like 54 or 78, something pretty old.
M: Trying not to giggle
D: Hey, there is Joseph! Oh yeah, today is our Health and Human Development class, we are going to learn about –you know what!? “Hey Joe... gotta go, love you mom…japanesejdkdlsjoejoeflllluumommbyee.
I can’t wait to hear his take on “Sex education”!
This morning’s conversation was about the lunch lady, who drives a Hummer.
D: There is the lunch ladies Hummer
M: Did she get a new car?
D: I don’t know this is a new lunch lady
M: What happened to the other lunch lady? Didn’t she drive a Hummer too?
D: Yes, she had the really big Hummer, that’s because she has been doing her job for 23 years. She started doing it when she just got out of school or college.
M: Did she get a new job?
D: I think she is just going to let her husband work for a while and rest. Or maybe she went to a retirement home or back to college.
M: Well goodness, how old is she?
D: Like 54 or 78, something pretty old.
M: Trying not to giggle
D: Hey, there is Joseph! Oh yeah, today is our Health and Human Development class, we are going to learn about –you know what!? “Hey Joe... gotta go, love you mom…japanesejdkdlsjoejoeflllluumommbyee.
I can’t wait to hear his take on “Sex education”!
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Hmmmmmmm
At 4:30 this morning (yes, I get up at that ungodly hour), I heard Devon talking in his sleep. When I went into his room he was saying, “Pinocchio, I am the Blue Fairy” and laughing softly. I just giggled, but I wonder what the heck he was dreaming about!
Friday, April 22, 2005
Excuse me
After that last post I feel much better. It is very stressful working with Mrs. Boss. She only knows how to do one thing. That leaves me to do the other 20, while still accomplishing all my daily tasks. I am frazzled, worn out and drained (get it, I’m beat).
I actually tried to run a credit card payment through the fax machine. It was denied!
TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF!!!!!!!1
I actually tried to run a credit card payment through the fax machine. It was denied!
TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF!!!!!!!1
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Hummph
Weekend was messy
Monday was…Monday
Co-worker gone
Working with Mrs. Boss
Doing all the work
GOING CRAZY!!!!!!
Monday was…Monday
Co-worker gone
Working with Mrs. Boss
Doing all the work
GOING CRAZY!!!!!!
Friday, April 15, 2005
The royal family
Family jewels, they need some, set in nice big tiaras. My ex and his family are such drama queens. Newest drama, in short form:
Ex talked to Nick online the other night and accused him of having a website with links to “kiddie porn” and drugs (he said the girls were around 5-10 yrs old). Nick was freaked out, denied the accusations and asked where he found this website. His dad said that he had hacked into the site and deleted it. He told Nick he was going to end up in “juvie” and he better get his shit together. He threatened to send uncle S down to straighten him out. He then told Nick that his house is wired with cameras that record what he says and does while he is visiting them. More freakishness occurs and Nick is reduced to tears. He pleads his innocence and his dad logs out and has not spoken to him in a week.
Last night at about 8:30 I get a call from uncle S. He is coming down (no, he didn’t ask, he told me) to spend some time with the boys. He said he would like to spend the night. I didn’t know what to say, so…he is on his way. He will be at my house at 1:00 today.
Now a couple of things really bug me about this situation:
*The ex and I are the adults and parents, why didn’t he call me and ask me if I was aware of Nick’s Internet site. I am on his computer daily, I check everywhere he has been and I archive all of his chats. He knows this. I have not found anything other than inappropriate language.
*I also know that Nick is not into “little girls”, he is more of a Pamela Anderson boy. I also talk to Nick about any concerns I have. His dad can’t seem to pick up the phone, everything is done online.
*He accuses his son of doing awful things and then logs out, leaving Nick feeling awful and confused.
*Uncle S will be at my house when I am not home. He is also my ex’s brother and going to be sleeping on my couch. I know he is coming to check things out and that makes me mad.
This is such a weird situation. I wonder how long it is going to take them to get over the drama and just try to be good parents? They seem to be so hell bent on finding something wrong that they are destroying their relationship with their kids.
Oh, I just don’t have the energy for this!
I hope the maid remembers to roll out the red carpet.
Ex talked to Nick online the other night and accused him of having a website with links to “kiddie porn” and drugs (he said the girls were around 5-10 yrs old). Nick was freaked out, denied the accusations and asked where he found this website. His dad said that he had hacked into the site and deleted it. He told Nick he was going to end up in “juvie” and he better get his shit together. He threatened to send uncle S down to straighten him out. He then told Nick that his house is wired with cameras that record what he says and does while he is visiting them. More freakishness occurs and Nick is reduced to tears. He pleads his innocence and his dad logs out and has not spoken to him in a week.
Last night at about 8:30 I get a call from uncle S. He is coming down (no, he didn’t ask, he told me) to spend some time with the boys. He said he would like to spend the night. I didn’t know what to say, so…he is on his way. He will be at my house at 1:00 today.
Now a couple of things really bug me about this situation:
*The ex and I are the adults and parents, why didn’t he call me and ask me if I was aware of Nick’s Internet site. I am on his computer daily, I check everywhere he has been and I archive all of his chats. He knows this. I have not found anything other than inappropriate language.
*I also know that Nick is not into “little girls”, he is more of a Pamela Anderson boy. I also talk to Nick about any concerns I have. His dad can’t seem to pick up the phone, everything is done online.
*He accuses his son of doing awful things and then logs out, leaving Nick feeling awful and confused.
*Uncle S will be at my house when I am not home. He is also my ex’s brother and going to be sleeping on my couch. I know he is coming to check things out and that makes me mad.
This is such a weird situation. I wonder how long it is going to take them to get over the drama and just try to be good parents? They seem to be so hell bent on finding something wrong that they are destroying their relationship with their kids.
Oh, I just don’t have the energy for this!
I hope the maid remembers to roll out the red carpet.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
When I grow up...
On our drives to school in the morning, Devon and I get some time to talk about things, you know, important things. We usually talk about his favorite video game or the things he wants to do with his Legos. This morning we talked about the future. Well, I talked about the future-future and he talked about the immediate future.
D. I wish I was out of school; I can’t wait till I graduate
M. After you graduate then comes college and a job
D. Uuuuhhggg, more school?
M. Well, if you want to be a computer software designer, then yes. If you have decided to be the Indian you wanted to be in kindergarten, then-no.
D. I just hate school, I waste all my time doing homework
M. It isn’t a waste of time if you think about the future. Think about the things you want in life, maybe a house, a car, a family...It takes hard work to get the things you want.
D. Yeah, I guess
*Silence*
D. I know what I want
M. What?
D. One of those FAST 201 yo-yos and some hand sanitizer.
M. ?????????
Now I get the yo-yo thing, but the hand sanitizer, I am not so sure about that.
So, I scratched my head and tried to remember what it was like to be a child.
I just hope he can hold onto his innocence for a while longer (a long while).
D. I wish I was out of school; I can’t wait till I graduate
M. After you graduate then comes college and a job
D. Uuuuhhggg, more school?
M. Well, if you want to be a computer software designer, then yes. If you have decided to be the Indian you wanted to be in kindergarten, then-no.
D. I just hate school, I waste all my time doing homework
M. It isn’t a waste of time if you think about the future. Think about the things you want in life, maybe a house, a car, a family...It takes hard work to get the things you want.
D. Yeah, I guess
*Silence*
D. I know what I want
M. What?
D. One of those FAST 201 yo-yos and some hand sanitizer.
M. ?????????
Now I get the yo-yo thing, but the hand sanitizer, I am not so sure about that.
So, I scratched my head and tried to remember what it was like to be a child.
I just hope he can hold onto his innocence for a while longer (a long while).
Friday, April 08, 2005
Neighbor
Dear Neighbor,
You have been a good neighbor over the last year. I appreciate the pride you take in your flowers and making the area look nice.
I realize you are an adult (I think you might even qualify for the Senior discount), but some of the decisions you make amaze me.
I accept the fact that you like to start your day with a hot cup of black coffee and an even hotter hard-core porn film. But PLEASE, for god’s sake, either close your shades or turn your 64 in. plasma T.V away from the window. It makes it very hard for me to get any exercise in the morning. How am I supposed to raise my heart rate walking back and forth in front of your window every morning?
Your neighbor,
Amy
You have been a good neighbor over the last year. I appreciate the pride you take in your flowers and making the area look nice.
I realize you are an adult (I think you might even qualify for the Senior discount), but some of the decisions you make amaze me.
I accept the fact that you like to start your day with a hot cup of black coffee and an even hotter hard-core porn film. But PLEASE, for god’s sake, either close your shades or turn your 64 in. plasma T.V away from the window. It makes it very hard for me to get any exercise in the morning. How am I supposed to raise my heart rate walking back and forth in front of your window every morning?
Your neighbor,
Amy
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Another hump day
Is it strange to be aroused by the produce section in the grocery store? I know it probably is, but I find it strangely exciting. Now it can’t be just any produce section, not an Albertson’s after the 5 o’clock rush. No, it has to be a nice, neat store, with a dimly lit, aesthetically pleasing vegetable section. The Ralph’s in Camarillo takes the cake. The lights are low, the fruit is beautifully arranged, and ooohhhhh the eggplant!! I love the eggplant! It is royal looking and shiny AND PURPLE!!!!!!!!
*Sitting down and smoothing hair*
I think it must be all the colors and the smell of fresh vegetables and fruit. Or maybe it is the fact that they do such a great job of displaying it all, I don’t know. All I do know is, I went to work today with a banana in my pocket.
*Sitting down and smoothing hair*
I think it must be all the colors and the smell of fresh vegetables and fruit. Or maybe it is the fact that they do such a great job of displaying it all, I don’t know. All I do know is, I went to work today with a banana in my pocket.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Mondays with Devon
Conversation on the way to school this morning:
D: The pope is dead, right?
M: Yes he is.
D: What do you think he is waiting for?
M: What do you mean?
D: Well, the radio said they were taking him to Vegas to “lay and wait”
D: The pope is dead, right?
M: Yes he is.
D: What do you think he is waiting for?
M: What do you mean?
D: Well, the radio said they were taking him to Vegas to “lay and wait”
Friday, April 01, 2005
WTF!!!!!!!
I got this text from my oldest son last night:
Ther is a priest here at dads he sez if u commit suicide but r savd u wont go 2 hell
Ask g-ma if tats tru
do u think it iz
I couldn’t get through to him.
I can’t wait to here the story behind this!
Maybe they are trying to convert my children to Catholicism.
Ther is a priest here at dads he sez if u commit suicide but r savd u wont go 2 hell
Ask g-ma if tats tru
do u think it iz
I couldn’t get through to him.
I can’t wait to here the story behind this!
Maybe they are trying to convert my children to Catholicism.
Fridays are great
I had the most spectacular drive to work today!
Because of all the rain we have received over the last couple of months, every flower known to man is blooming. As I drove down Harbor Blvd, I looked out over the sand dunes covered in iceplants in full bloom. Beyond the sand was the ocean, sparkling in the morning sun. The sun was shining on me and I rolled my windows down to feel the ocean breeze. Then I saw them, by the hundreds, coming straight at my windshield… BUTTERFLIES!!!!!
The Painted Ladies are migrating from Mexico to the Pacific Northwest. It was surreal! It made my day! How can your day go wrong when the sun is shining and the butterflies are fluttering?
Because of all the rain we have received over the last couple of months, every flower known to man is blooming. As I drove down Harbor Blvd, I looked out over the sand dunes covered in iceplants in full bloom. Beyond the sand was the ocean, sparkling in the morning sun. The sun was shining on me and I rolled my windows down to feel the ocean breeze. Then I saw them, by the hundreds, coming straight at my windshield… BUTTERFLIES!!!!!
The Painted Ladies are migrating from Mexico to the Pacific Northwest. It was surreal! It made my day! How can your day go wrong when the sun is shining and the butterflies are fluttering?
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Boo Hoo Wednesday
It’s not anywhere near “that time of the month” and I have been tearing up over everything.
It started with a phone call from my husband this morning. He told me that he has officially been made a CORE member of the InterWest team. This means after his 3-month grace period he is eligible for benefits, meaning dental and prescription discounts (medical is provided in Canada). This means he is not thinking about coming home anytime soon, if ever! I didn’t even ask, just said congrats! How long am I supposed to wait around for him to get his shit together?
I miss my boys! I don’t really know what to do when they are gone. I can think of places I would like to go but work gets in the way, damn work.
To top it all off, I spilled coffee on my favorite pheasant shirt on the way to work. As I was trying to wash it off, one of the guys from the factory said, “Why do you wear that shirt? It makes you look pregnant.” I looked at him and said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all!” Great comeback, huh? Then holding back the tears I said, “If I were pregnant that would make me the Virgin Mary, only I’m not a virgin and my name isn’t Mary!!” Geez, I was on a roll! What a dork! I stomped to the bathroom and cried.
I feel better now and I know I have to address the issues with my husband. “Shit, or get off the pot” applies to both of us.
It started with a phone call from my husband this morning. He told me that he has officially been made a CORE member of the InterWest team. This means after his 3-month grace period he is eligible for benefits, meaning dental and prescription discounts (medical is provided in Canada). This means he is not thinking about coming home anytime soon, if ever! I didn’t even ask, just said congrats! How long am I supposed to wait around for him to get his shit together?
I miss my boys! I don’t really know what to do when they are gone. I can think of places I would like to go but work gets in the way, damn work.
To top it all off, I spilled coffee on my favorite pheasant shirt on the way to work. As I was trying to wash it off, one of the guys from the factory said, “Why do you wear that shirt? It makes you look pregnant.” I looked at him and said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all!” Great comeback, huh? Then holding back the tears I said, “If I were pregnant that would make me the Virgin Mary, only I’m not a virgin and my name isn’t Mary!!” Geez, I was on a roll! What a dork! I stomped to the bathroom and cried.
I feel better now and I know I have to address the issues with my husband. “Shit, or get off the pot” applies to both of us.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Easter with me
Another holiday spent alone.
I am getting use to it.
It was easier before, because I had my husband to spend time with. Now it is just me! I had a busy day, which was good. I went to a church service in the park by my house. It was a great service. I think every service should be outdoors. They had a full praise band playing and the little kids danced in the grass in their Easter outfits. The sun was shining and the palm trees swayed gently in the light breeze. It was wonderful.
After church, I went to a friend’s house for an Easter brunch. We had Mimosas, muffins, boiled eggs, fruit and candy. We colored eggs. The older kids poo-pooed the idea, so we moms did the coloring. We made some beauties and had a blast. They have an 18-month-old daughter and we watched her find eggs and toss them around until they broke open. Of course, she is too young for candy, so the adults all fought over it. We sat on their deck and got our fill of “baby love” (another friend has a 6 wk old baby boy).
Next I headed to a neighbors house for an Easter harbor cruise. We took the dingy out and had some cocktails on the water; we even did a good deed. We towed a stranded boat to its dock. We got home just as the sun was starting to set.
I made my way home after a quick walk on the beach to watch the sun set. It was so incredibly romantic, I even tried to hold my neighbors hand (she wasn’t very thrilled). I put my warm comfy pj’s on and snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie.
It was an enjoyable day. I am also learning to enjoy my own company. I am so darn witty at times, although I must look like a lunatic talking to myself and laughing at my own jokes.
I am getting use to it.
It was easier before, because I had my husband to spend time with. Now it is just me! I had a busy day, which was good. I went to a church service in the park by my house. It was a great service. I think every service should be outdoors. They had a full praise band playing and the little kids danced in the grass in their Easter outfits. The sun was shining and the palm trees swayed gently in the light breeze. It was wonderful.
After church, I went to a friend’s house for an Easter brunch. We had Mimosas, muffins, boiled eggs, fruit and candy. We colored eggs. The older kids poo-pooed the idea, so we moms did the coloring. We made some beauties and had a blast. They have an 18-month-old daughter and we watched her find eggs and toss them around until they broke open. Of course, she is too young for candy, so the adults all fought over it. We sat on their deck and got our fill of “baby love” (another friend has a 6 wk old baby boy).
Next I headed to a neighbors house for an Easter harbor cruise. We took the dingy out and had some cocktails on the water; we even did a good deed. We towed a stranded boat to its dock. We got home just as the sun was starting to set.
I made my way home after a quick walk on the beach to watch the sun set. It was so incredibly romantic, I even tried to hold my neighbors hand (she wasn’t very thrilled). I put my warm comfy pj’s on and snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie.
It was an enjoyable day. I am also learning to enjoy my own company. I am so darn witty at times, although I must look like a lunatic talking to myself and laughing at my own jokes.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Friday, March 25, 2005
Clueless
There is this older man that works in our office. He is a nice guy but he has developed this little problem. He has a gas leak of some sort. Maybe it’s just a loose rectum, I don’t know. Anyway, he farts a lot. This has just started recently and must be diet related.
Last week, as he was leaving our office, he called out to another employee. As he did he let loose several farts that exploded like machine gun fire. My office mate and I sat in silence for several seconds and then I said, “Laura, was that you?” I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh. She said, “Nnnoooo, it was NOT me!” We laughed for about half and hour about it. I continued to laugh most of the day anytime I thought about it. He continued to fart about the office all week, not even batting an eye. We had a good time laughing about it, but give me a break!
This week has been the same only with smell effect! This does NOT make me laugh. Now he putts around leaving this smell, like bad produce (Lay off the broccoli man).
We finally mentioned it to our boss who said he would talk to him. Guess what he said?
He said he didn’t know he was doing it! He is hard of hearing and couldn’t hear himself farting around the office.
WTF! What about the feeling of air leaving your puckered old rectum? What about the smell? He has to know that he is doing this. I am so like…sure!!!!!!
I know when I fluff (girl-like), how about you?
Last week, as he was leaving our office, he called out to another employee. As he did he let loose several farts that exploded like machine gun fire. My office mate and I sat in silence for several seconds and then I said, “Laura, was that you?” I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh. She said, “Nnnoooo, it was NOT me!” We laughed for about half and hour about it. I continued to laugh most of the day anytime I thought about it. He continued to fart about the office all week, not even batting an eye. We had a good time laughing about it, but give me a break!
This week has been the same only with smell effect! This does NOT make me laugh. Now he putts around leaving this smell, like bad produce (Lay off the broccoli man).
We finally mentioned it to our boss who said he would talk to him. Guess what he said?
He said he didn’t know he was doing it! He is hard of hearing and couldn’t hear himself farting around the office.
WTF! What about the feeling of air leaving your puckered old rectum? What about the smell? He has to know that he is doing this. I am so like…sure!!!!!!
I know when I fluff (girl-like), how about you?
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Rummy and Coke
My boys had a 6:30 a.m. flight this morning.
That means we had to be at the airport at 4:30
That means we had to leave the house at 3:15
Which meant that I had to get up at 2:00!
I feel yucky, way to much caffeine.
That means we had to be at the airport at 4:30
That means we had to leave the house at 3:15
Which meant that I had to get up at 2:00!
I feel yucky, way to much caffeine.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
My liver is turning green and my toenails are falling off
Why do we feel so comfortable talking to our hairdressers? I called to make an appointment today and when she asked how I was, I said, “I’m great, except for the fact that my pants keep falling down and my hair is sticking up!”. Why the hell did I feel the need to blurt that out?! Good thing she has a great sense of humor and she knows me. She might think I’m mental otherwise. DON’T EVEN SAY IT!!
I think that might make a good theme for a country song…
My pants are falling down
My hair is sticking up
My baby done and left me
And she took my pick-up truck
I think that might make a good theme for a country song…
My pants are falling down
My hair is sticking up
My baby done and left me
And she took my pick-up truck
White trash
Yes, I went dumpster diving this weekend. It is my new, favorite past time. You can’t even imagine what I found in there (besides the bacon grease all over my favorite lip gloss).
All in all, it was a pretty good weekend. Friday night both boys were at sleepovers so a friend and I decided to meet for drinks. She stood me up, again! I was mad but after a few drinks I just made new friends. We called a taxi and bar hopped to several “beach bars”. We danced at the “Sand Castle” played pool at the “Pee Pee Palace” (long story) and returned for more fun at “The Lobster Trap”. I had so much fun! Ha-ha, take that you bossy, stander upper!!
Most of Saturday was spent recovering. I did some cleaning, some lying down, some cooking, some lying down, some errands, and some more lying down. Saturday night the boys and I watched a movie and ate popcorn (well, they watched the movie, I dozed).
Sunday, we took our usual bike ride to the Farmers Market. I didn’t bother with the produce because the boys are leaving for their dads and it would just go to waste. We wandered over to a boat show and then to “Sea Fresh” to sit on the patio. The weather was perfect; so we drank a few beers and listened to Teresa Russell play her magical guitar.
We rode our bikes home and on my way in I tossed some trash into the dumpster. I stood there while the boys laughed like crazy baboons. I just stood there, holding the garbage as my purse sailed over the wall and into the dumpster. Of course I was wearing light pink and white, perfect colors for dumpster diving! My lip-gloss was everywhere (that will teach me to keep my entire collection in the front pouch of my purse). I found as much of my stuff as possible and climbed out with garbage clinging to my legs. We took showers (me first), ate dinner and climbed in bed early.
It was a pretty good, relaxing weekend, and except for the fact that Nick now has Herpes, we are all clean and feeling well.
Thank God, Nicks Leukemia has cleared up, but now he has a pimple that he is just sure is Herpes. Some girl in his class had a cold sore and he is just positive that he caught it. I have tried everything short of the doctors office to convince him it is a friggin’ pimple. I have never seen a cold sore on someone’s forehead. Oh well, it will go away in a few days and a new crisis will take its place…he has to go to his dad’s.
All in all, it was a pretty good weekend. Friday night both boys were at sleepovers so a friend and I decided to meet for drinks. She stood me up, again! I was mad but after a few drinks I just made new friends. We called a taxi and bar hopped to several “beach bars”. We danced at the “Sand Castle” played pool at the “Pee Pee Palace” (long story) and returned for more fun at “The Lobster Trap”. I had so much fun! Ha-ha, take that you bossy, stander upper!!
Most of Saturday was spent recovering. I did some cleaning, some lying down, some cooking, some lying down, some errands, and some more lying down. Saturday night the boys and I watched a movie and ate popcorn (well, they watched the movie, I dozed).
Sunday, we took our usual bike ride to the Farmers Market. I didn’t bother with the produce because the boys are leaving for their dads and it would just go to waste. We wandered over to a boat show and then to “Sea Fresh” to sit on the patio. The weather was perfect; so we drank a few beers and listened to Teresa Russell play her magical guitar.
We rode our bikes home and on my way in I tossed some trash into the dumpster. I stood there while the boys laughed like crazy baboons. I just stood there, holding the garbage as my purse sailed over the wall and into the dumpster. Of course I was wearing light pink and white, perfect colors for dumpster diving! My lip-gloss was everywhere (that will teach me to keep my entire collection in the front pouch of my purse). I found as much of my stuff as possible and climbed out with garbage clinging to my legs. We took showers (me first), ate dinner and climbed in bed early.
It was a pretty good, relaxing weekend, and except for the fact that Nick now has Herpes, we are all clean and feeling well.
Thank God, Nicks Leukemia has cleared up, but now he has a pimple that he is just sure is Herpes. Some girl in his class had a cold sore and he is just positive that he caught it. I have tried everything short of the doctors office to convince him it is a friggin’ pimple. I have never seen a cold sore on someone’s forehead. Oh well, it will go away in a few days and a new crisis will take its place…he has to go to his dad’s.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Hell hath no fury...
Like an Irishman scorned!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all. Someone asked me this morning if I was Irish. I said, “I used to get a little Irish in me now and then”. Horribly inappropriate and un-lady like, I know. HEHEHE
Nick called me from school this morning saying that his friend J has 3 tickets to a Led Zeppelin concert on March 30th. He has been invited to go with J and his dad. Problem is…he is scheduled to leave for his dads on the 24th. I told him this is not an option, it is court ordered visitation. He said that he would call his dad and ask if he can skip this visit. This is not a good idea, but I think Nick is really looking for any excuse to not go to his fathers (because of issues posted earlier). Unfortunately, things have gotten worse with the “modeling” situation. Nick tried to call and clear things up and his dad asked him to call back another day because “It is G’s birthday and she is very upset about this whole thing, it has ruined her b-day”. He blamed her bad day on Nick! What a dick! He then demanded that Nick tell him who had talked him out of the modeling (meaning me).
Anyway, the whole thing is getting out of hand.
If I call their father and tell him that Nick doesn’t want to come, he will blame me for turning him against them, threaten to take me to court (which means going to Washington), and then belittle Nick. Nick told me he wants to call himself and tell him. This is a huge step for him, but… all HELL will break loose!
Well, I am off to do some work, or at least look like I am working!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all. Someone asked me this morning if I was Irish. I said, “I used to get a little Irish in me now and then”. Horribly inappropriate and un-lady like, I know. HEHEHE
Nick called me from school this morning saying that his friend J has 3 tickets to a Led Zeppelin concert on March 30th. He has been invited to go with J and his dad. Problem is…he is scheduled to leave for his dads on the 24th. I told him this is not an option, it is court ordered visitation. He said that he would call his dad and ask if he can skip this visit. This is not a good idea, but I think Nick is really looking for any excuse to not go to his fathers (because of issues posted earlier). Unfortunately, things have gotten worse with the “modeling” situation. Nick tried to call and clear things up and his dad asked him to call back another day because “It is G’s birthday and she is very upset about this whole thing, it has ruined her b-day”. He blamed her bad day on Nick! What a dick! He then demanded that Nick tell him who had talked him out of the modeling (meaning me).
Anyway, the whole thing is getting out of hand.
If I call their father and tell him that Nick doesn’t want to come, he will blame me for turning him against them, threaten to take me to court (which means going to Washington), and then belittle Nick. Nick told me he wants to call himself and tell him. This is a huge step for him, but… all HELL will break loose!
Well, I am off to do some work, or at least look like I am working!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
It's something and nothing
I am in a funky mood!
I don’t have anything to say, well, nothing nice.
I am tired, emotionally and physically.
I don’t know if my husband is coming home, I don’t know if I care!
I am feeling snubbed by my friends and neighbors but I’ll be damned if I am going to call them. I have this problem with initiating things (most things). I feel like I am always interrupting something or they might not want to talk to me, so I don’t call. I know, I know, pick up the phone, problem solved.
Money is always an issue living in Calif.
Raising a teenager is hard.
Working two jobs is draining.
My house is clean but my closets… sick (not in a cool way). I am a bit obsessive (I seem to be saying that a lot lately) about my house. There is not enough time in the day to get everything done and I stress about it. Unfortunately my closets suffer. If I don’t see it, I am cool, open the closet and my heart starts thumping!
My family is having some communication issues and I wish I could shove them in my closet too. This is one thing that may send me over the edge.
See, what did I say, nothing nice, nothing interesting, nothing funny. Woe is me.
I am done feeling sorry for myself, I think.
I don’t have anything to say, well, nothing nice.
I am tired, emotionally and physically.
I don’t know if my husband is coming home, I don’t know if I care!
I am feeling snubbed by my friends and neighbors but I’ll be damned if I am going to call them. I have this problem with initiating things (most things). I feel like I am always interrupting something or they might not want to talk to me, so I don’t call. I know, I know, pick up the phone, problem solved.
Money is always an issue living in Calif.
Raising a teenager is hard.
Working two jobs is draining.
My house is clean but my closets… sick (not in a cool way). I am a bit obsessive (I seem to be saying that a lot lately) about my house. There is not enough time in the day to get everything done and I stress about it. Unfortunately my closets suffer. If I don’t see it, I am cool, open the closet and my heart starts thumping!
My family is having some communication issues and I wish I could shove them in my closet too. This is one thing that may send me over the edge.
See, what did I say, nothing nice, nothing interesting, nothing funny. Woe is me.
I am done feeling sorry for myself, I think.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
In a pickle
The boys’ dad and step-mom are busy. Step-mom is a has been, umm, I mean used to be a model (cat claws bared). She is constantly trying to talk Nick into competing in a model search. Nick is just not interested. I am not really pleased with the thought of him spending all of his free time (and mine) going on auditions and worrying about what he is eating. This is not the lifestyle we are interested in living.
The ex and family are coming to Hollywood in August for a big Dance/Model competition. They have been “encouraging” Nick to say yes to competing in this event. They have sugar coated the whole situation with “you can make enough money to pay for college” or “you could be famous” even “this is a once in a lifetime chance”. Now what kid doesn’t dream of these things, gosh, I still do!
Last Sunday night, about 8:30 p.m., step-mom calls. She knows I put the boys to bed between 8:30 and 9:00 (Nick would die if anyone found out). She tells Nick, who is sitting there with a horrified look on his face, that he has until noon on Monday (the next day) to make a decision. He would be in school on Monday so that actually left him 30 minutes to make that decision. He tells her, in a not so convincing voice, “Ummm, I don’t think I really want to do it”. He continues to make some panic faces and says a few more, “no thanks” and I don’t think so”. I can tell he is stressed so I ask to speak with her. She rambled on and on about Bob Eubanks (I thought he was dead) and the different modeling agencies, including the one she used to model for, and the fact that Nickelodeon and Disney and blah, blah, blah… I only got one-word responses in until I finally just butted in. I told her that the decision was Nick’s and that I thought he had tried to tell her he wasn’t interested. He totally flipped out and started waving his hands and shaking his head. He actually started to cry and mouthed to me that they would be mad. He wants more than anything to please his dad; well, he really just doesn’t want to make him mad. He is a very unforgiving man. I feel bad that he feels this way. He has never been able to speak his mind to his father, out of fear. I had to take back what I had just said to step-mom. I told her the decision was up to Nick, and that I would stand by him, support him, and drive him to hell and back, if he was serious.
Nick and I did our verbal rendition of a Pros and Cons list. His biggest pro and con were the same issue- making his dad happy, or not making him mad. I told him to NOT think about his dad or step-mom or me or anyone else but himself. I said he needed to answer a couple of questions for himself:
Is this something I think I will enjoy doing?
Am I prepared to make the sacrifices needed to accomplish this?
Will this get me to a place I want to be in my future?
He decided to say “yes”. He sent his step-mom an email saying so. The next morning when I got out of the shower Nick was sitting on the couch crying. I already knew what was wrong. He told me that he had felt pressured and that he had made the wrong decision. I told him that he needed to call and tell them that he had changed his mind. He was an absolute wreck but he made the call and left a message. His father has not spoken to him since.
Last night, (a week later) we get an email from step-mom saying that she is excited and has made arrangements to have Nick’s portfolio shot while he is visiting for spring break. She is also going to teach him how to walk and how to stand. She is not going to take “no” for an answer. We sent her an email back saying that there must be a misunderstanding, he is not interested.
I don’t really know what part to play in this whole situation. I do not have a good relationship with their father; in fact he wishes me dead every chance he gets. I want to protect him, of course, but I want him to learn to stand up for himself, to say NO if he means it. I also want him to know if he commits to something he has to follow through. He doesn’t want to go to his fathers now. He will be 1000 miles away and I won’t be much help. I explained that love isn’t a reward for pleasing behavior, it is unconditional. I guess it is hard to understand that, when all you feel you get from a parent is disapproval and love based on circumstances. I’m sure they know my love is unconditional- I can tell it in the way they try and walk all over me.
The ex and family are coming to Hollywood in August for a big Dance/Model competition. They have been “encouraging” Nick to say yes to competing in this event. They have sugar coated the whole situation with “you can make enough money to pay for college” or “you could be famous” even “this is a once in a lifetime chance”. Now what kid doesn’t dream of these things, gosh, I still do!
Last Sunday night, about 8:30 p.m., step-mom calls. She knows I put the boys to bed between 8:30 and 9:00 (Nick would die if anyone found out). She tells Nick, who is sitting there with a horrified look on his face, that he has until noon on Monday (the next day) to make a decision. He would be in school on Monday so that actually left him 30 minutes to make that decision. He tells her, in a not so convincing voice, “Ummm, I don’t think I really want to do it”. He continues to make some panic faces and says a few more, “no thanks” and I don’t think so”. I can tell he is stressed so I ask to speak with her. She rambled on and on about Bob Eubanks (I thought he was dead) and the different modeling agencies, including the one she used to model for, and the fact that Nickelodeon and Disney and blah, blah, blah… I only got one-word responses in until I finally just butted in. I told her that the decision was Nick’s and that I thought he had tried to tell her he wasn’t interested. He totally flipped out and started waving his hands and shaking his head. He actually started to cry and mouthed to me that they would be mad. He wants more than anything to please his dad; well, he really just doesn’t want to make him mad. He is a very unforgiving man. I feel bad that he feels this way. He has never been able to speak his mind to his father, out of fear. I had to take back what I had just said to step-mom. I told her the decision was up to Nick, and that I would stand by him, support him, and drive him to hell and back, if he was serious.
Nick and I did our verbal rendition of a Pros and Cons list. His biggest pro and con were the same issue- making his dad happy, or not making him mad. I told him to NOT think about his dad or step-mom or me or anyone else but himself. I said he needed to answer a couple of questions for himself:
Is this something I think I will enjoy doing?
Am I prepared to make the sacrifices needed to accomplish this?
Will this get me to a place I want to be in my future?
He decided to say “yes”. He sent his step-mom an email saying so. The next morning when I got out of the shower Nick was sitting on the couch crying. I already knew what was wrong. He told me that he had felt pressured and that he had made the wrong decision. I told him that he needed to call and tell them that he had changed his mind. He was an absolute wreck but he made the call and left a message. His father has not spoken to him since.
Last night, (a week later) we get an email from step-mom saying that she is excited and has made arrangements to have Nick’s portfolio shot while he is visiting for spring break. She is also going to teach him how to walk and how to stand. She is not going to take “no” for an answer. We sent her an email back saying that there must be a misunderstanding, he is not interested.
I don’t really know what part to play in this whole situation. I do not have a good relationship with their father; in fact he wishes me dead every chance he gets. I want to protect him, of course, but I want him to learn to stand up for himself, to say NO if he means it. I also want him to know if he commits to something he has to follow through. He doesn’t want to go to his fathers now. He will be 1000 miles away and I won’t be much help. I explained that love isn’t a reward for pleasing behavior, it is unconditional. I guess it is hard to understand that, when all you feel you get from a parent is disapproval and love based on circumstances. I’m sure they know my love is unconditional- I can tell it in the way they try and walk all over me.
Monday, March 14, 2005
I have nothing nice to say...
so I won't say anything at all!
DAMN, STUPID, CRAPPY, FUCKING PERIOD!!
I just couldn't help myself.
DAMN, STUPID, CRAPPY, FUCKING PERIOD!!
I just couldn't help myself.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Friday, March 11, 2005
I don't know about you...
but I am repulsed by the new Carl's Jr. adds. The smart ass baby makes me want to scream. I have never consider abortion an option, ever-but this makes me reconsider. The T.V add where he threatens to "grab something on the way out" makes me cross my legs and try not to gag! It is disgusting! The radio version ends with "I could always come out butt first, you would be walking funny for a week!" That is not really appetizing, in fact I may never eat there again! What were they thinking?
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Twinkle toes and her son
When my boys were little, (when they still wanted to do everything I did) I would paint their nails with clear polish when I painted mine. This eventually progressed to clear with sparkles. Nick quickly outgrew this but Devon didn’t. This made their dad very angry. He was a mans man and he thought I was turning “his boys” into sissies! He was sure I was going to make them gay (funny I ever divorced the charming, intelligent gent). I assured him that I would not damage their manhood in anyway and that it was fairly normal behavior. Devon eventually moved on too…to Barbie dolls and The Easy Bake Oven! (that just convinced his father that I had ruined him).
He is now all boy. This leads me to Friday night.
After dropping Nick off at a friend’s house, Devon and I stopped to get something to eat. We wandered into a drug store and bought a few things, including some foot cream. We decided we would go home and soak our feet in my footbath. We did some soaking, some scrubbing, and some clipping. I rubbed Devon’s feet with the foot cream and he said it felt “better than eating 10 candy bars” (that is the ultimate heaven to him). I decided to paint my toenails and Devon sat with me, watching Smallville. He finally asked me if I still had “that sparkly” polish?
OMG, Oooooohhh Noooo, I thought to myself, 11 is a little too old for painted nails. I told him that I did. He asked if he could look at it and I took it out of my bag and handed it to him. He rolled it around in his hands and then said, “Could we paint my nails?” OH LORDY! I didn’t want him to feel bad about wanting his nails painted so I said, “sure”.
He promptly reached into the bag and pulled out my brightest shade of red and said, “how about this one?” I tried to convince him that red is really hard to remove, no such luck! He was rolling the bottle in his hands and he asked me “do any boys who aren’t gay paint their nails?” I told him that I know men who get manicures (I just failed to mention that they don’t paint their nails red). I did manage to talk him into only painting his big toes. They looked lovely and we lay on the couch together and admired our toes. Will he outgrow this? Do I really care? Nope!
It was a nice Friday night.
His dad would kill me, I mean really kill me, not just kinda but completely kill me!
He is now all boy. This leads me to Friday night.
After dropping Nick off at a friend’s house, Devon and I stopped to get something to eat. We wandered into a drug store and bought a few things, including some foot cream. We decided we would go home and soak our feet in my footbath. We did some soaking, some scrubbing, and some clipping. I rubbed Devon’s feet with the foot cream and he said it felt “better than eating 10 candy bars” (that is the ultimate heaven to him). I decided to paint my toenails and Devon sat with me, watching Smallville. He finally asked me if I still had “that sparkly” polish?
OMG, Oooooohhh Noooo, I thought to myself, 11 is a little too old for painted nails. I told him that I did. He asked if he could look at it and I took it out of my bag and handed it to him. He rolled it around in his hands and then said, “Could we paint my nails?” OH LORDY! I didn’t want him to feel bad about wanting his nails painted so I said, “sure”.
He promptly reached into the bag and pulled out my brightest shade of red and said, “how about this one?” I tried to convince him that red is really hard to remove, no such luck! He was rolling the bottle in his hands and he asked me “do any boys who aren’t gay paint their nails?” I told him that I know men who get manicures (I just failed to mention that they don’t paint their nails red). I did manage to talk him into only painting his big toes. They looked lovely and we lay on the couch together and admired our toes. Will he outgrow this? Do I really care? Nope!
It was a nice Friday night.
His dad would kill me, I mean really kill me, not just kinda but completely kill me!
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Weekend
I am adjusting to my new hair. I have gotten mixed reviews. I thought it would make me feel "girly" or more "womanly". Instead, I feel like Bigfoots mother!
I am going to the salon today to have a few inches cut off and then we are off to a Clippers game! I am going to have it styled next week, I think that will help. I was foolish enough to pay a butt load for the hair, I have to make it work for a while.Oh well, I am trying not to be blue about the whole thing, live and learn. I hope I learn before I die!
I am off to the beach for a much needed walk...have a great weekend.
Go Clippers!!
I am going to the salon today to have a few inches cut off and then we are off to a Clippers game! I am going to have it styled next week, I think that will help. I was foolish enough to pay a butt load for the hair, I have to make it work for a while.Oh well, I am trying not to be blue about the whole thing, live and learn. I hope I learn before I die!
I am off to the beach for a much needed walk...have a great weekend.
Go Clippers!!
Friday, March 04, 2005
Warning!
On the "Warning Statement" that came with my new flat iron:
#4- Never use while sleeping
?????????? OK!
#4- Never use while sleeping
?????????? OK!
I'm stuck with it!!!
I don’t think I like the hair! I remember now why I cut it in the first place! It is strange to walk by a mirror or window and see myself with long hair.
I feel like Caroline Ingalls. She never looked right when she took her hair down for bed.
I feel like Caroline Ingalls. She never looked right when she took her hair down for bed.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
They all love me, don't they
Despite the fact that Oxnard has over 180,000 people, the beachside community where I live is fairly small. Although we are technically Oxnard, the locals refer to the area as Channel Islands Harbor. Channel Islands Harbor includes the houses that sit on the water and a few blocks surrounding. To the right, along the beach is Oxnard Shores (recently re-named Mandalay Shores) and to the left is Hollywood Beach. These three areas have a combined population of about 2,500 people. A lot of the OSL’s (Oxnard Shore locals) are second and third generation beach bums (with great jobs). You either know personally or recognize most of the locals (except for some weekenders). This is a very laid back, friendly bunch of people. The theme for our block party last year was “I LOOOOVE my neighbors”.
Yesterday after work I made a trip to the grocery store to get some essentials. On the way out of the parking lot someone honked and waved at me. I wasn’t paying that much attention and I just waved back. It is a short drive home and people kept waving at me. I said to the boys, “Isn’t it great to live in such a friendly place?” I had that “I never want to leave my mom” feeling. We pulled into the garage and got out of the car. Of course Nick was the first one out and I heard him say “Oh MOM!” I had left the milk on top of the car. Whoops, I guess I am not as loved as I thought, just a nerd!
Yesterday after work I made a trip to the grocery store to get some essentials. On the way out of the parking lot someone honked and waved at me. I wasn’t paying that much attention and I just waved back. It is a short drive home and people kept waving at me. I said to the boys, “Isn’t it great to live in such a friendly place?” I had that “I never want to leave my mom” feeling. We pulled into the garage and got out of the car. Of course Nick was the first one out and I heard him say “Oh MOM!” I had left the milk on top of the car. Whoops, I guess I am not as loved as I thought, just a nerd!
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
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