Brains and eyeballs with dead finger breadsticks and bloody broccoli. It was sooo unappetizing but the boys loved it!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Yummy!
Brains and eyeballs with dead finger breadsticks and bloody broccoli. It was sooo unappetizing but the boys loved it!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Potty Mouth
Last Friday I got a new cell phone. I was pretty proud of it. I was so proud that on Monday, I dropped it into the toilet (before I flushed). I said the usual 4-letter bathroom words and tried to shake it dry.
I was pissed, pee was flying and I didn’t give a shit!!
When I got home, Nick decided he was going to try and fix it. I figured it couldn’t hurt, it was already dead. Two days later… it works fine. The camera even works! I was so happy this morning that I did a little dance and sang my happy song, “My pee pee phone works, My pee pee phone works.” After being annoyed by my song and dance, Nick asked, “Why do you keep saying that?” I reminded him that I had dropped it into the toilet. He was quite for a minute and then he said, “It was clean water, right?” “UHH, no”, I replied. He started gagging and wiping his tongue on his shirt. “MOM, I SUCKED THE WATER OUT OF THE PHONE WITH MY MOUTH!!”
Good grief, if I knew he was going to suck the water out, I would have warned him.
Devon and I had a good giggle every time he left the room- sick aren’t we?!
I was pissed, pee was flying and I didn’t give a shit!!
When I got home, Nick decided he was going to try and fix it. I figured it couldn’t hurt, it was already dead. Two days later… it works fine. The camera even works! I was so happy this morning that I did a little dance and sang my happy song, “My pee pee phone works, My pee pee phone works.” After being annoyed by my song and dance, Nick asked, “Why do you keep saying that?” I reminded him that I had dropped it into the toilet. He was quite for a minute and then he said, “It was clean water, right?” “UHH, no”, I replied. He started gagging and wiping his tongue on his shirt. “MOM, I SUCKED THE WATER OUT OF THE PHONE WITH MY MOUTH!!”
Good grief, if I knew he was going to suck the water out, I would have warned him.
Devon and I had a good giggle every time he left the room- sick aren’t we?!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Strange requests
When I got home yesterday Nick asked if I could please get him:
1. A Speedo
2. Goggles
3. Bananas
I just looked at him funny and said “sure”. I’m not sure I want to know-Teenagers!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
What every man wants and...
The reason I love craigslist:
DOG WALKER & FEMALE TRAINER (westlake village)
I wonder how many husbands called this poor lady!?
DOG WALKER & FEMALE TRAINER (westlake village)
I wonder how many husbands called this poor lady!?
Monday, October 10, 2005
So, I'm the grossest mom alive...
You wanna make something of it!!
Last weekend we got a new kitten. She is very small and like most kittens she has worms. She was de-wormed but apparently (we found out last night) she needs another dose of medicine. She was curled up in my lap, sleeping like a baby, when all of the sudden I felt something cold and wet on my leg. I figured that she had poop on her hind feet. As I was looking, Nick looked over too. He said, “Mom, she has slimy poop coming out of her butt!” Being the drama king that he is, he started yuck, yuck, yucking and hopping around the living room. I picked the kitten up, grabbed a Kleenex, and pulled the worm out. I walked to the bathroom and flushed it down the toilet- problem solved! Nick was completely horrified! He thought I was the grossest human alive. He couldn’t believe I would just pull it off and go on with my evening like… like the cat didn’t just have a worm crawling out its butt! “What? I’ve seen worse.” I told him. “I used to change your diapers and I worked at a nursing home for 3 years.” Yeah, I’ve seen much worse. He totally avoided the poor kitten all night long and kept giving me the evil, grossed-out eye. Its not like I didn’t wash my hands, come on.
Last weekend we got a new kitten. She is very small and like most kittens she has worms. She was de-wormed but apparently (we found out last night) she needs another dose of medicine. She was curled up in my lap, sleeping like a baby, when all of the sudden I felt something cold and wet on my leg. I figured that she had poop on her hind feet. As I was looking, Nick looked over too. He said, “Mom, she has slimy poop coming out of her butt!” Being the drama king that he is, he started yuck, yuck, yucking and hopping around the living room. I picked the kitten up, grabbed a Kleenex, and pulled the worm out. I walked to the bathroom and flushed it down the toilet- problem solved! Nick was completely horrified! He thought I was the grossest human alive. He couldn’t believe I would just pull it off and go on with my evening like… like the cat didn’t just have a worm crawling out its butt! “What? I’ve seen worse.” I told him. “I used to change your diapers and I worked at a nursing home for 3 years.” Yeah, I’ve seen much worse. He totally avoided the poor kitten all night long and kept giving me the evil, grossed-out eye. Its not like I didn’t wash my hands, come on.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Just when you think things can't get worse...
THEY DO!!!
Not only am I completely broke, emotionally over loaded, fat, compulsive, repulsive, and lacking in good decision making skills… I am also a husband-stealing hussy.
If they handed out degrees for being a douche bag I would at least have a Masters.
For some reason this week everything has weighed heavily on me emotionally.
The calm after the storm- HA-things are starting to feel overwhelming.
Tuesday I felt like I might have a nervous breakdown. I felt like one more thing going wrong would send me over the edge. Then IT happened.
I was accused of making moves on/ trying to steal someone else’s husband. This was sooo far fetched that I thought it must be a joke. The husband in question is 76 years old and has Tourettes Syndrome. He is also my boss.
It was not a joke. I was insulted, hurt, and furious.
What brought this about?
Get this: Someone called and asked for “Amy, the bosses wife.” We were all joking about this and then she just went off on me.
I lost it and started crying. I packed up my stuff, cleaned out my desk and left. About half way home I knew I had to go back. I went back the next day and they acted like nothing had happened. She was as friendly as ever, even bought me lunch. She acted like we were best friends. And I thought I was crazy!
This makes work a little uncomfortable for me. I just need a break. Hey, I think I’ll take the next couple of days off.
Not only am I completely broke, emotionally over loaded, fat, compulsive, repulsive, and lacking in good decision making skills… I am also a husband-stealing hussy.
If they handed out degrees for being a douche bag I would at least have a Masters.
For some reason this week everything has weighed heavily on me emotionally.
The calm after the storm- HA-things are starting to feel overwhelming.
Tuesday I felt like I might have a nervous breakdown. I felt like one more thing going wrong would send me over the edge. Then IT happened.
I was accused of making moves on/ trying to steal someone else’s husband. This was sooo far fetched that I thought it must be a joke. The husband in question is 76 years old and has Tourettes Syndrome. He is also my boss.
It was not a joke. I was insulted, hurt, and furious.
What brought this about?
Get this: Someone called and asked for “Amy, the bosses wife.” We were all joking about this and then she just went off on me.
I lost it and started crying. I packed up my stuff, cleaned out my desk and left. About half way home I knew I had to go back. I went back the next day and they acted like nothing had happened. She was as friendly as ever, even bought me lunch. She acted like we were best friends. And I thought I was crazy!
This makes work a little uncomfortable for me. I just need a break. Hey, I think I’ll take the next couple of days off.
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